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<editorsnote> Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world.  We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!! </editorsnote>

 

 

 

 

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Sunday
Sep262010

#TrueStory: I was dumped by my fake internet boyfriend

Dear #TNTML, I need your help in tracking the actual person in this picture down.

Alrite, here's what's going on ... last Tuesday, I got this email on Facebook - READ!

 

 

Let me break this all down for you, and those of you that have known me for a few years, this will all start to make sense. I used to work for the founder of Myspace, and launched his start up called "LiveVideo" back at the end of 2007. It was literally the coolest job ever, as it was the education I learned there that prepared me for knowing how to launch this site. Well, this guy came into my chats all the time, and was suppperrrrrrrr cute. Like crazy, super cute. Totally caught my attention that he helped moderate the room, and at the same time wasn't all "show me your boobs!" It was great!!! Dude, I even thanked him in this video.

I work online, so the odds of me meeting someone via the online channel were pretty high. It's like working in a coffee shop, and dating a caffeine addict. It just goes together like herpes and the cast of The Hills.

We slowly started off by talking on the phone, and at the time used to post cutesy comments on our Myspace pages - it was pretty PG. He kept pestering me, wanting to "date" and I was kinda meehhh. I was pretty into lifecasting, and was pretty into what I was doing - so I just didn't want to get serious with anyone, let alone some random guy that lived in AZ. He eventually broke me down, and we did start "dating." Dating of course consisted of hours and hours and hours spent talking on the phone. Yes, dudes - THIS IS WHY I HATE THE TELEPHONE!!! I used to spend sooooo much time on it with this guy. Drove me batty!! I would beg him, just get a webcam ... just get a webcam. Why won't you get a webcam. You have to remember, this was in late 2007, early 2008 ... NO ONE was doing what we were doing on LiveVideo. Social media was barely a zygote at the time.

So, we officially started dating - and of course I mentioned him to my family, as I always told them what was going on. I was totally weirded out at the notion of telling them that there was this guy that I met in my internet chat, so we came up with this story that he and I had briefly met in a bar, but never got the chance to talk until we were online. It kinda made sense, the stigma of online dating was just SOO intense at that point. There was just no way I could tell my conservative Connecticut family that I was dating someone from the internet.

That's Lady Gaga right behind me. She was the pre-opening opening act.Time went on, and I wanted to meet. I am very much a "just do it" kinda person. I either like you or I don't - life is too short to not be lived. Every time he was supposed to come out to LA he canceled, and the ONNEEEEE time he called me saying "I'm here to surprise you!" I was on a plane to San Fran to go visit my ex. This was pre-foursquare days, but I am CERRRTTAIINNNN he knew what was going on. We were on and off for literally a year. He sent me flowers, floor seat tickets to New Kids on the Block, (Jordan Knight was literally my very first crush ever) - there was just always something about him though that nagged at me, saying this guy isn't real. I googled him like mad, and it perturbed me that I couldn't find ANYTHING on him. Literally googling "Dare Walker" and "Darien Walker" returned only a vague address in AZ. That was it. I couldn't find this company he claimed to work for, he always called me from a blocked number - really weird shit.

Still the greatest concert EVER! Thx fake internet boyfriend!!Totally put my guard up, but again - life is reflective. I would NEVVERRRRRR do that to someone, so I was sitting there thinking there was NO way that this could have happened. This guy has to be real.

His stories were about as long as could be. From the fact that his birth mom gave him up to be born into his "real family" where his "actual mother" was an OB/GYN that delivered him ... I mean everyone thought I was nuts. I protected this guy and justified him to my friends and family because I was so ashamed of the possibility that I was duped so bad.

 

We had gotten into a fight one night regarding an ex of mine. It got so heated, and I was so frustrated, that I said - FINE! I'm getting in the car, I'll be there in 7 hours. It was midnight ... I drove through the night to his town of Tempe, AZ. Literally ... me ... my dog Rocky ... in my beetle convertible ... drove 7 hours in the middle of the desert with a 2 liter of Diet Pepsi MAX. Hey, I am one passionate chick. If I say I am going to do something, it gets done.

He never saw me. He claimed he was just "mad" at me, but I went to the only google listing for the company that he claimed to work for, and they said there was no one by that name there. I had his address from google, and from the return address on a package he sent me - but I felt going to his apartment was too much. I pulled into a Dennys, and struck up a conversation with one of the locals, and had breakfast. I called him over, and over, and over, and his phone was turned off. I licked my wounds, and drove all the way back to LA.

EVEN AT THIS POINT, EVERYTHING WAS TELLING ME THIS GUY WAS A COMPLETE FAKE, BUT MY EGO JUST COULD NOT LET IT GO.

We eventually did break up. It was almost a year though of back and forth - again, my ego just did NOT want to let go what happened on that drive, DAYYYSSS worth of conversation, HOURSSS of work online chatting, there was no way I was going to let this guy go just based on principle. I KNEW in my heart that none of this made sense, but that ego that didn't want to feel so ashamed and creepy kept getting in the way.

Her response back:

(Please note, I am protecting her identity for obvious reasons.)

 

We then talked on the phone later that day. And literally went line by line of everything that we knew about "Dare Walker."

Birthday, May 17th - checked out

Originally from somewhere in NY.

Has brothers.

That's about it.

He lied to her in saying that one of his parents had died when we were dating, yes his dad did get into some weird accident, but upon googling like mad, I found nothing. Trust me - this type of incident would have ended up in the paper SOMEWHERRREEEE!!

When this girl and I were talking on the phone, I remembered that a girl from my old chat said she saw a picture of the actual guy in a friend's Facebook album. She confronted Dare on it, and he quickly changed the topic. I put the two girls in contact with each other.

This was the actual email:

The guy in the picture ALWAYSSS had this one girl in pictures with him. He called her Amber. They claimed to be best friends, but in the pictures I could read the body language, and they were definitely more than friends. But again, the ACTUAL people in the picture I'm SURE were dating IRL - but online, in his mind, in this crazy story ... this was just his "best friend."

 

Here's the thing about me, I am a LIFECASTER!!!! Verifying anything about me is the easiest thing in the world!!! I have all my stats posted on various modeling websites, I have documented my life somewhere online in some capacity almost every day for the last 3 years. Knowing hair, eye color, body type? SOOO easy!!!

I do not want to hurt this individual. Whoever the guy is in the picture, or even the poser behind it - please note, I do NOT NOT NOT want anyone harmed. I just wanted to post on this to be able to help this girl through a very difficult time. I went through a massive bout of depression after he and I stopped dating. I was hurt, confused, bewildered, and humiliated. Everyone had warned me, but I just refused to listen. I want the guy in the picture to know that this individual is out there posing as him - and I want the guy posing as the con to know that he is caught.

I want ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with you - and wish everyone else the same.

I am merely testing the whole 6 degrees of separation theory, and knowing that thousands of people read this site every day, I am CERTAIN someone ... somewhere ... can help us track you down.

Here's his MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/no1uknow00

And the Myspace pages of chicks connected to him, that I believe were actually him posting. Dude, they all still comment on your status? Are you friggen kidding me? NO ONE uses myspace anymore. At least if you are going to lie, stay technologically relevant. They might also have no idea that their identity has been compromised:

http://www.myspace.com/karstars420

http://www.myspace.com/ami3bee

http://www.myspace.com/t420cal

If you have any information please contact me on Facebook here

or feel free to tweet me.

Thanks, nerds!!!

Dude, bad bad bad bad bad idea pissing off a passionate chick that runs a website. BAD BAD BAD BAD BADDDDD idea! Never cross a nerdy chick scorned.

#NerdsUnite

 

 

 

 

 

Click here to read his response

References (8)

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Reader Comments (11)

quite an interesting little response he has on his myspace..... it's a good quick read about him destroying you and having a bunch of dirt. maybe i should send him a pic of me so he knows what he's getting himself into. doesn't know about your Italian guardian angel. bad person to fuck with.......

September 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternoa

I was totally going to make a joke about this being one of my many secret spy identities, but then I saw I actually share a birthday with this guy. So, um, it's not me... I swear...

September 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter@AdamReisinger

HAHAHAHAAHAH!! thanks guys. again, im a lifecaster - anything he could claim to have on me, ive already published and would say straight to anyones face. makes coming clean about things a LOT easier, and keeps me very honest.

Thanks so much for the comments guys!! this poor girl!! couldnt believe it happened to someone else!!! #nerdsunite

September 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjen friel

This is so messed up. It happened to me, too. -.- Not in such huge proportions but still. I was lucky to get out before sth really fucked up happened.

So I met this guy (who was supposed to be my friend's brother) at some forum or whatever, it was even before FB and all that stuff, at least here. We totally hit it of and after some time we were replying only to each other like we were the only people on that forum. Soon, we exchanged MSN messenger adresses and pictures (and there were lots of them, even high school ones... I don't know how this stuff works in USA but here you have class photos put up on high school's page so anyone can see them). And when I checked, they matched with the ones he sent me so I was not suspicious at all.
He did claim he had a twin brother whom I was unable to find (supposedly they weren't visiting the same high school) which I found a bit odd but still, I was only interested in Jan (sounds like Ian, not like Jen :P).
We chated all the time for hours and hours and I started to like him to the point where I fell in love with the guy. I know what you're thinking, how can a 15-year-old know when she's in love and blah blah but I was, I was totally in love with a guy I've never met in person. And all that crap was going on for months but since he lived few hrs away as well we were unable to see each other. Also, my mum would never just let me get on the bus or sth and go see him.
There were times when I doubted his existence but every time sth happened that took my mind off of it... We were even supposed to meet in Ljubljana (our capital) once when he was there to drop off his college application (How cool would I be dating a college dude? :)) but "something came up" like in those cases it always do.
But after almost a year it became obvious that his feeling towards me were not as deep as mine and he saw me only as a very good friend. So I kinda stopped coming online on MSN and stuff, deleted my forum account and fell into a huge depression. I was totally crushed and I don't really rememer what got me back to my feet. I just realized it's not worth being half dead just because some moron can't appreciate you so I was cured in few hrs. :D Ice cream and chocolate really helped. :)
But then when I looked back on that year I actually LOST because of him I started to notice some weird stuff about his stories. They never checked with his sister's... And when he went to Greece that summer he was unable to tell me where he was (the whole 10 days!!!) cuz " he was so drunk all the time". That was when I figured out it's my friend - his sister - who's been messing with not just my but everyone's head... But I could never be mad at her, we were almost best friends, I knew her for few years and I knew she was 'real' cuz we met in person. So when I confronted her only a couple of yrs ago she admited that Jan and his twin brother didn't exist and she felt really bad cuz she wanted to tell me for really long time and she didn't know how. At that point I lied about being in love with Jan - I told her my friend came up with that story to mess with his head but then we got so deep in it we couldn't stop lying... lame but she bought it so I kept at least a drop of dignity... The whole deal was that every IP adress on that forum (it was RPG one) was allowed only 1 account so when she wanted more she came up with twin brothers. And because there was a lot of ppl doing what she did she had to come up with one hell of a cover story so admins wouldn't ban her. Weird.

I still feel extremely stupid and a lil bit hurt because my actual FIRST LOVE was effin FICTIONAL but I survived. :) It would be so much better if I picked a famous fictional dude though. :) Oh well, I'm almost over it now and me and that girl are still very very close and I forgave her so no big deal.

But still, not half that messed up as your story. I hope you do find him and then you should totally post his true identity all over the internet for others to beware that freak.

Let the nerd force be with you! :)

September 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterUla

Goddamn sounds like pretty elaborate con. This guy knows what he's doing.

September 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

he was very, very, very, very, good.

September 27, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjen friel

This has happened to me before, exept by a girl named Aryn. She did the same thing, Blocked number, kept making up excuses why she flaked out on meetups. It could have gone on as long as yours did, but I have some friends who are very snoopy. Turns out the girl in her pictures was actaully a 'Site Model' Named Taylor ___. So yeah, I confronted her and she never replyed to me again, which proved me right that she was indeed 'Fake'. Since then Ive seen ALOT of people on myspace using 'Taylors' photos saying they are her. But I kinda moved on, because nobody uses myspace anymore haha.

September 27, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKyle Bagley

Hey Jen,
Just curious on if you had found anything new on Dare? It still drives me nuts!

July 5, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAshley

Oh wow! I can't believe this happened to you too (and apparently other people). Who are these people that do this kind of shit? I mean, to be so elaborately deceptive... it's not simply someone lying about who they are but they've carefully PLANNED out a lot it right? It's some anti-social shit there.

I was totally dumb and fell for a girl I never met...who always planned on meeting and canceled. I can write more but since this thing spanned off and on for about 3 years, I have way too many stories about it. But at the end of the day, a good ol' Facebook privacy security hole allowed me to verify my suspicious and I know who my perpetrator is... and she still doesn't know. Too bad I'm not as vindictive as the persona in my head. If you haven't found out who this "Dare" guy is, email me and we can share "tricks".

*sigh*

September 18, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdam

Dang, grl, u got catfished, if only u filmed it, u could have a made a movie about that was deceitfully marketed as some kind of psych thriller. lol. I had a bud who had multiple online relationships turn out to be fakes (he was trolling for cheap sex, so it wasn't heart breaking). It was late 90s and early 2000's so homie was using all kinds of sketchy sites to find chicks to hit up (ratemyface.com LOL) But one grl offered for him to move to FL and she would pay for everything, and he was packed and ready to go, when she of course cancelled the whole thing. I could tell he was actually kinda hurt this time, but like i said he was ultimately just trolling for pussy. He also had some of his fakes eventually reveal themselves out of guilt because they were falling for him (they were always super fat compared to their online pics). Online love is not worth the time imo, but it makes for interesting thoughts like, what is the nature of attraction with out the physical side? Id say hire a private detective and find dude (or sign up for the next season of that catfish show on mtv). Your site is great, MOAR 3 some stories!!! lol.

PS- i swear im not actually my bud im talking about, but i have also tried meeting people online in the present day (OK.C) and found it tiring just to be myself online let alone fake an identity and multiple others to back up my original fake identity.
#Nah Imma Stay

November 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPatrick Carey McClane

Hey,

This is just a post to restore your faith in humanity.

I'm in a successful relationship that started online.

I'm from England, she's from Australia (literal polar opposites of the world).

Long story short, we were online in love - in a committed relationship - for about 6 months (we're still in love, but you know what I mean), she came to visit me for 2 months, another 6 months, I visit her in Aus, another 6 months her in England and then 6 months later, in June 2011, I've been here on a Working holiday Visa since then.

Currently awaiting a Permanent Residency Visa (which is a bitch of a process).

Those that need it: make sure whoever you're talking to is real, early - it doesn't have to be obvious or a big thing.

Easiest way is obviously videochat (back in my day because I'm so old at 20 it was MSN w/ webcam, but now anyone can use Skype or Facebook videochat and there's no real excuse why you can't - every laptops got a webcam and if it's a tower computer, they cost like $10.

A sign picture is easy enough - a picture with his/her face holding up a message on a piece of paper.

If you want to be even more subtle, do a bit of "stalking". Just been to a cousin's wedding? Look/ask for pictures etc.

Hope all here who were in the same situation/might be in the same situation currently have a nice ending to whatever it is.

I'd personally advise against LDRs/online relationships if you can help it because they are a bitchhhh to keep strong - no matter how in love you are you've got to be so committed and give so much of your life up - pretty much as much as you would if s/he were living with you. I got lucky in that my partner was the one for me. Expect to be both the happiest and saddest you've ever been in your life

Good luck all! Take it easy!

-Andrew

November 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrew

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