#Question: So, exactly how many people have you slept with??
Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 6:16AM
I got asked this question on twitter a few weeks back, and I thought it was so rad I wanted to take it out of 140 characters and turn it into a post.
The question was more eloquently posed - it was along the lines of, how many partners do women have on average?
I don't know the answer on that one. Upon first googling, there doesn't appear to be a national average for this sort of thing. I'm a lifecaster, so I won't speak in generalizations - only first hand, and my number is ... ::drum roll::
I have no idea.
No, but like seriously. I lost my virginity when I was 16 (read more about that here) but I waited until I was like 18 or 19 to become "sexually active."
I remember I kept a little journal with a list of the guys I slept with initially, and then I thought - but when does it end? How many is TOO many. The questions overwhelmed me, and when in doubt my 19 year old self said - I just don't want to know. Ignorance is bliss.
Seriously.
What is the right answer here? I didn't want to tell the second and third guy I slept with how inexperienced I was - yet, that inexperience is SUPER HOT to other dudes ... it's enough to make your head spin. When it comes to sex, there is no "right" or "wrong" answer because there is no set measurement of anything for anyone. Dudes, my parents met in grade school, have been together their entire lives - and were literally everything for each other. By the time I slept with two people I had doubled both of their numbers. Does that make what they're doing wrong, or me right? AbsoFREAKINGlutely not. It just "is" and we are all doing what we think is best for our own lives.
I decided the best course of action was to stop counting and focus on the guy. He's not a number, he's someone I am sharing something very private and very special with. Does that mean I won't have a one night stand? AbsoFREAKINGlutely not. HAHA!! I love love love sex, and sure, if it makes sense - I'll do it. Doesn't happen often, but sometimes lust can take over and as long as you use protection, I don't see anything wrong with it.
Personally for me though, I can get off during penetration - yet have more difficulty doing so with one night stands. There's no emotional connection, and as we all know, that's where the root of the female orgasm is based. I'm an INCREDIBLY efficient person, and if I can't weigh an orgasm out as more likely to happen than not - I won't sleep with them. Men shouldn't be the only ones to derive pleasure from a one night stand, it's just hard however with alcohol consumption and general excitement from the new partner that most guys can't last that long. Pretty true. And ladies, don't even think of going down on him beforehand unless he returns the favor. He's going to be done SO fast at that point, you've basically just given your orgasm the kiss of death. Not going to happen. ::sad face::
Stay true to you, stay true to your heart - and when it comes to sex, throw out the math. Just keep it real.
#thatisall
Reader Comments (1)
For me, 1 was too many. I'm almost 30 and that's been it. But for all the trouble that 1 caused (and the personal regret I have because I was wanting to wait 'til I'd found the "right one", and was tricked/tricked myself--it was both, I'm not innocent, but neither was she--into thinking this was Her), it may as well have been 20 or 30.