HAHA oh dear god, I don't know where to even begin - what a wild night last night. I can say, I proudly woke up in my own hotel room ... alone ... but not after some very uh, interesting, meetings.
Here's the song that goes with this post, btw ...
Okey dokey, so first up - why am I in NYC? Well fancy you should ask ... see, there is this new superly duperly rad startup launching this weekend called Mirror which is a relationship review application. Long story short, it creates a balanced and accurate mosiac about a person based on their past relationships. It's super cray cray and culturally disruptive which excites me greatly.
<tangent> Also on a more personal level, I meet so many people and date so much that this will also hold me accountable and put me on the chopping block and not in any sort of position of power feeling like I have the "last word" with everything by having this site. It's rad, and will definitely keep everything more grounded which is bitchin. </tangent>
So, I was on Mirror yesterday playing around with the new site (which again gets launched this weekend) - and I noticed just how freaking specific their search allows you to get ...
Obviously Mirror is capturing all of this data on the people being reviewed both by their extensive database, and all of the reviews that are coming in daily - so its kinda cool that you can search for VERY specific qualities in a person. As much as I heart OKcupid and have enjoyed my time spent there ... it's fucking bullshit. I now know the qualities that I look for in a person, but it's still a crap shoot in how you're actually able to find someone. Yes, we might be matched high based on our core principals, but I run a business. I have to have to have to date someone that runs their own business too or at least empathizes with the space and the sacrifices it entails which is independent of my core principals.
The countless late night hours, waking up in the middle of the night to write yet still being up at the butt crack of dawn getting shit done and hustling. No one tells me what to do, I am driving my own horse and it psychologically just grabs a hold of you and doesnt let go.
So, the fact that I could literally search for someone with that VERY specific quality IN MY FRIGGEN AREA really meant a lot to me.
Oh yeah, and I can also read their sexAbility and overall dateAbility as well to make sure they're not a giant asshole; information is power, man. You should absolutely 110% formulate your own opinion of someone, obvi, but this is some next level shit. I know what I am looking for in a guy, I just have to find him. OKC and dating sites don't allow that. And Mirror isn't even a friggen dating website - it has a vertical for friendships, AND relationships, however if used in reverse ... how could a nerd NOT use it to find someone? Makes sense right?
I sat there yesterday and started putzing around. I wonder what's out there, I thought.
I typed in the zipcode of the area I was staying in, followed by the age range that I wanted - in my case it was 30-34, and started browsing.
I was shocked at the results - dudes, over 10 pages.
AHHH information overload, have to pinpoint it better.
I then went to the search box and typed in "business" ...
I didn't want to get too specific on "owns business" or anything else to limit too many of the results ... but if someone had that word in their review, given the context, I'm sure I would have found what I was looking for.
I then clicked search for reviews, and to my surprise - I found someone that I was attracted to!!
Right off the bat in one of the first few pages was this guy who owned his own business, had a great review written about him, and also had a pretty cute pic.
I want to contact him, I thought.
I then popped on Facebook, and unfortunately couldn't find anything. Some peeps don't allow themselves to be found in the search function, so I knew he was making this difficult, but not impossible.
I then googled him finding his website - I clicked contact.
Then, the "info@XXXXXX.com" popped up. Not knowing where that was going to be directed to, I didn't want to mislead him thinking I was interested in doing something with him in a professional manner.
Ah fuck, I thought - I wish I could just find his personal email, or figure out a way to contact just him, directly.
I then read through the other pages on his website, and in it I saw an email address for one of his employees. It was just their first name followed by the website.com. AHHHHHH I thought, this is going to be easy, it'll just be his first name at the website.com.
I took a chance and sent out the email, unsure at first what to say but confident in the fact that if I just spoke from the heart, I might get a response back ... and even if I didn't it was worth a try ...
Again, I wanted to make it very clear what my intentions were, and specifically because of what this guy does - his job requires him to meet people ... I just didn't want to be a douche.
To my surprise, 15 minutes later I got a response back ...
I didn't want to tell him about Mirror just yet, so I chose my words VERY carefully.
I then gave him my phone number, and about an hour later he called.
It was very literally one of the most awkward conversations I have ever had with someone. He kept saying over and over, but I'm not online, I'm not on any dating websites.
It's not a dating website, I assured him - it's a relationship review application. You've been reviewed, there is no "opt in" feature. I liked what I read about you and while yes, this may be ballsy, I'm in town and would love to meet.
How old are you, he replied.
He then said he would get back to me, and I hung up the call.
This guy thinks I'm NUTS but I'm just trying to find a more efficient way to date - and this SEEMS like it would make sense, but again, never having done anything like this ... who freaking knows!!!
An hour later I got another email ...
It also helps btw doing this and being the MOST googable person on the planet. Not only do I lifecast and have this site, but very literally every week someone, somewhere writes something about an experience we've had ... or something. It's crazy cool, here's one of my new buddies Ryan who posted this kind blog earlier this week.
I interact with people morning, noon, and night - so it doesn't make me special that people are writing things (only awesome) - but just very matter of fact a constant in this space. We're nerds, man!! All we do is post in social media and post on our blogs ... so this guy NOT ONLY read about me from a first person perspective, but I'm sure through all the googling got a pretty solid idea of what I was about.
I emailed him back ...
We then agreed to meet around 9 - and I got back to work playing around with Mirror.
It's crazy cool just HOW MUCH INFO they've collected on people, and just HOW SPECIFIC you can get. It's insane and again some next level shit!! It's intention isn't to connect people, rather literally act as a mirror and just provide a real perspective; but people will do what people will do with it. I've been DYING for something like this to come out to make dating more efficient.
I then left the office around 4:30 to meet up with an old high school buddy, @jonkagan. He reads the site and has been following the adventures. Really great guy, also in the tech world, and now a new proud papa. I was asking him about what it's like to be a dad - and how marriage and life are treating him in general.
It was great, we had a fun time - but after about a half hour I had to jet back uptown to get ready for a fancy pants dinner with the Mirror team.
Earlier in the day, I had gotten a post on my Facebook wall from a friend of the site asking for a drink ...
They were coming all the way up from Philly, so I told them about the dinner and that I would meet them after.
I'll bring you a cheesesteak! said the friend.
It then hit me that I was going to a kosher restaurant, and having worked at the Milk and Honey in LA, I started freaking out going omg omg omg I can't bring a cheesesteak inside a kosher restaurant.
I then emailed the guys back telling them to keep it on the DL and that when they're outside I'll just leave the dinner and we can go and grab a beer before I had to head to SoHo to meet up with my date.
Fortunately, through the awesomeness of timing, the dinner ended before the guys got there - and I was able to leave and head over to where the bus was going to drop them off to meet up.
We went to this really chill place, Lucy's which is right outside Penn Station (where the megabus drops you off), and look at how friggen cute these guys are ...
I literally could not get over the fact that these guys sat on the bus for TWO HOURS to just grab a beer and bring me a cheesesteak.
HILARIOUS too because I did that same exact route a few months back when I went out on a date with Steve Ward from the Vh1 show, Tough Love.
I know what you went through to get here, and I just have to say- thank you so so much for reading, and thank you so so much for everything. This is GREAT!!!
We then talked about life, love, and all good things in the word of the nerd. They're independent filmmakers and even gave me a copy of their latest film. I can't talk about it yet, because I haven't watched it and I have a strict rule on not promoting things unless I genuinely believe in them.
I have however seen the trailer, and the movie looks ridiculous ...
I then thanked my new buddies, grabbed my cheesesteak (so freaking rad too that he brought me one from Campos which is where I went when I was in Philly) ...
and hopped on the subway down to SoHo to meet my date.
I had no idea how he was going to react, but I was strutting some serious assage in my Donna Mizani dress that I still have from the Oscars.
When in doubt if a guy is going to freak out about meeting you from the interwebz make sure you look extra sexy so he will forget about the awkward set of circumstances and just stare at your lady bits.
Works like a charm everytime!!
I strutted my leggy self upstairs at the SoHo grand hotel, and met my date.
To my genuine surprise, he looked exactly like his picture. Score one for Mirror! I thought
We then started talking, and I explained how I was able to find him, and what Mirror is about. He didn't at all seem phased by the fact that he was reviewed, he was more intrigued by who I was and what I was going to write about him.
The whole lifecasting thing freaks a lot of people out since they aren't in control of the content. Hilarious that these reviews obviously say way more - but again that part didn't phase him, I think more than anything he saw the value of what one positive review can do. I literally dropped from the sky into this guy's lap, and within 12 hours of finding him, we were arranging a meeting. How insane is all of this??
We then ordered drinks and the conversation felt a bit ... stunted. We already knew so much about each other it was the very opposite of a blind date.
I'm also too not naturally an inquisitve person, so my defaults always go to asking people about their passion, not just what they do for a living.
We talked about how socially conscious he was, and how much he wishes he could do more in the field.
This guy is pretty cool, I thought. He mirrored my body language, and seemed DEFINITELY guarded but like he was warming up to the sitaution.
We talked for about a half hour, then he admitted he had to be up in a few hours for work.
I normally don't do things like this, but I was intrigued by you. This sounds like a cool site, I'm just curious about how many more of these I am going to get.
You had a great review, I said. What chick wouldn't want to go out with a guy like you!
He then laughed walking me downstairs where he kissed me on the cheek wishing me a safe flight back to LA.
I laughed walking back to the subway, here is a guy that is INSANELY private personally and professionally that was actually pretty kosher about being written about, and having this experience. I even invited him to review me, which I hope he does.
I was all in all elated by the experience. I was very attracted to the guy in person, and while he was absolutely guarded - I dug it. There was no compatability prerequisite, nothing. I knew the qualities I was looking for in a guy so I searched for it using Mirror, and BOOM! Found what I was looking for!!
This is going to make my dating life SO MUCH FREAKING EASIER!!!
So, that happened.
I then went back to the hotel, and after feeling a little sexy sexy still in my Donna Mizani dress, I decided to hit up the hotel bar for some fun.
How long did it actually take?? I could barely send this tweet off before I was engaged in conversation ...
I then spent the night talking to an Israeli playboy that pretty much thought I was the sure thing. It was hilarious actually watching him drop all of these hints that he was taking me upstairs.
I have tattoos, I will show you the one on my shoulder later. blah blah blah blah blah
Dude, I'm over guys like you. He's from Vegas, runs a series of businesses (again, an attractive quality), is aesthetically speaking a beautiful specimen ... but I'm over it. I've soiled my oats, I've boned dudes like you, and now I'm over casual sex.
I decide to be very clear with that fact after he questioned "why I was so far away from him."
I did it tactfully, but I made it very clear that this was not only not going to happen now ... but never. You're hot, I reassured him. If this was 6 months ago there's no doubt I'd have already taken you upstairs and proceeded to do nasty, naughty things ... but I'm done; it does nothing for me.
He laughed inching closer to my face.
Really? I thought. Are you trying to test me?
He continued to bat his gorgeous eyes, and I thought - dude, if nothing else in life I have some SERIOUS will power, and your dick could be made of chocolate flavored awesomeness, and I'm still not going to suck it.
He then kissed me on the cheek and I went back upstairs, alone.
Good job Friel, I thought. Way to be tested by the universe and stand your ground. I take all of this stuff seriously, man. These aren't just novel ideas, I see a Shaman, have a dating coach - I'm GENUINELY trying to better myself through lifecasting and me boning that dude would have been a step back in the wrong direction.
So, here I am. Back in the Mirror offices writing this post, with my backpack and a few more hours before I have to catch my flight at JFK. I'm excited to test Mirror out in LA when I get home, and then at SXSW in Austin the following week. It's a really cool service, and if someone so FEROCIOUSLY private not only wasn't phased about being reviewed, but actually AGREED to meet up with me less than 12 hours after our first interaction - I think they could be onto something.
It's an exciting time to be alive, nerds!!! BAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
check out Mirror for yourself when the site goes live this weekend. SO FREAKING COOL!!!
And a very very very special thank you to everyone I've met while in NYC. Malik, you the bomb diggity, CE and Matt, you guys are SO hardcore and thank you for the cheesesteak - and everyone else sorry if we didn't get a chance to meet up this trip, but I'll be back soon. Keep on keeping on!!! xoxoxoxo