OOOHH the happy happy no joy joys of being used.
See, I am taking my 103 dates in 9 months and the fact that I have still averaged at least two dates a week for the past year (after the social experiment) and turning it into helping nerdy dudes get the girl. Rather than keep plugging my personal life (which any relationship blogger will tell you - you can't do forever) I wanted to shift into an advisor-ship role where I help nerdy dudes out. From their OKC profiles, to anything, I wanted to create a mock environment where we would sit and chat and I could help them figure out what their dating dilemmas were truly all about. FTR, I have absolutely no filter and a bullshit radar like NO other.
I heart helping people, and I can talk about dating and social dynamics for daayyyysssssss ... so this is helping me with my understanding of people tremendously, while at the same time, again, helping my nerdy fellas out. To make sure a transaction of some kind is exchanged though for my time (time is the most valuable thing ever), I have the guys buy me a beer and in exchange we will talk.
So, that's what has been going on, and here is the latest and greatest ...
Introducing: the dude that took me out on a date to get startup advice
Last week I got hit up by this duderino on Facebook asking if he could be taken in the field for my mock dating. I was all ... great! I adore people that are brave enough to put themselves out there, and are willing to be transparent in the hopes of cutting out the bullshit and getting to the heart of something.
We then agree to meet up in the holly of hoods, and before I knew it the day was upon us.
HELLOOOO I say with a big hug as I see my mock date.
HELLOOOO he then says back as we cop a squat over at the booth in the corner.
SOO, tell me what's up, I say wanting to get to the heart of things. Tell me about your past dating history.
He then tells me all about his previous relationship with his college sweetheart.
Wait, how old are you, I ask.
24, he says.
Ah, fuck, I think - I hate hate hate giving advice to people this young. (remember the dude with the sad eyes?) Your early 20s are all about trying everything and anything -period end of sentence. You need to go out there and date as mannnnyyyyyyyyy different types of people as possible to find out what you like and what you don't like. From THEERRREEE it is easier to break down the patterns and from an advisor perspective help you understand what patterns are present. The absence of patterns makes it very difficult for anyone to dissect (no matter how analytical they may be).
Dating, however, isn't really what I'm into right now, he confesses - I'm really just focused on my startup.
Every alarm in my head then proceeds to ring as I think, fuck, you're now using this time to get startup advice not dating advice from me. Clever, I think, but not cool.
He then goes into telling me about his startup - which I actually don't think is a bad idea, but was not the reason why I agreed to meet up with this dude.
FYI nerds, peeps don't dig being hoodwinked. I've actually met this kid before, and am obviously EXTREMELY grateful that he reads the site - but I very genuinely have this time specifically allocated for my mock dates. I DO give startup advice, however, that is given over lunch not drinks. If you want to buy me lunch to tell me all about your startup, great! I'd adore it as I learn so much from you all as well ... but please for the love of everything holy, do not ... DO NOT bring someone to a meeting under a false set of circumstances. Game recognizes game, so I wasn't mad at the kid. Heck, if Pete Cashmore was more available to the public I prolly wouldn't have had to crash the Grammys to meet him. I TOTALLY get and can TOTALLY resonate with where this kid was coming from, but it genuinely pissed me off.
The entire night I kept trying to steer things back to dating, and while he did open up a bit - it just wasn't cool, totally made me feel used.
<tangent> Coming from this space in general I have to thwart off peeps trying to use this brand morning, noon, and night. (Even the motorcycle/national geographic dude I went out with earlier this week was asking me about my connections in radio. It's like are you for REAL??) It makes you your own worst enemy!!! You work your ASS off to create something, and to create connections when in return 90% of people will only just try to use you for their own personal agendas. Why do you think I had to take my dating out of real time?? It. does. not. work. Guys want to be written about, so they'll message me, read about my past history discovering what I'm into ... what I'm not ... just like that I get manipulated into liking them, and just like that boom - they break my heart so that I'll write about them. It sucks. And something I am always always always on the lookout for. </tangent>
I consider the time I allocate for these mock dates to be sacred - peeps confess their SOOOULLLLSSS to me ... the LAST thing I want to talk about in that space is startups.
No. Freaking. Bueno.
SOOO that happened. I then gave him some advice and politely excused myself walking back thinking it was cool that this happened since I didn't exactly have a bad night, but if anyone ... and I mean AANNNYYOOONNNNEEEE uses this space again to ask for help with their startup I will chop your balls off and publicly shame you.
I am ABSOLUTELY not even kidding either - I run with scissors and don't always play well with others.
Don't piss me off, man and more importantly don't waste my time.
ALLLLLL this being said, here's his review on Mirror.net...
annnnnddd for his review ...
Again, I didn't have a "bad" evening, but I was definitely lead to it under false pretences. If you guys want advice for your startup all you have to do is buy me lunch. Easy peasy! I ADOORREE talking about startups, just not in this type of setting and not when I think I'm going into something to give dating advice.
This kid will do well in business, but EVERYONE ELSE HAS BEEN WARNED. Put me in this kind of situation again and this is what you will get ...
Do you live in LA and would you like to go out on a date to be reviewed? Hit me up!! JenFriel at talknerdytomelover d c. I wanna hear from you!! xoxo