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<editorsnote> Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world.  We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!! </editorsnote>



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#Fact: You think a first date is weird? Try first fetish meeting! 

Oh lordy schmick mordy ... I am literally blushing at writing out this post. I will tell you all right now that I THOROUGHLY enjoyed myself, but I just didn't expect this part of my personality to come out. I knew I was dominant in business but never ever ever in my personal life ... I wanted to pwn that motherfucker like it was my job.

Alrite, so a week ago, I tweeted out that I was seriously considering dating a guy with a foot fetish just so I could have my feet rubbed. I started running in the morning to give my life more of a "routine" but as a side effect it's caused my feet to throb like no other.

I was kind of kidding, but what I didn't expect was the OVERWHELMING response from guys who were totally into it.

Now, I know from my buddy @meowmistidawn that foot fetish is in the top three fetish turn ons (just behind butt and boobs - pun intended), but I've genuinely never dated a guy who has articulated that he had a foot fetish - so my experience is extremely limited in the subject and honestly, I thought it was all pretty "creepy."

The second that C word hit my noggin though I realized I was actually just being judgmental and maybe if I walked towards that place of uncomfort I could learn something from a first hand experience and not a preconceived notion.

Bottom line: I actually emailed one of the foot fetish duderinos back.

His email was so sweet ... and so endearing. He said plain as day that he is married and with kids, but that this is a part of his personality that he can't deny and he's been a foot slave to doms before but was seeking one in LA. (His wife totally approves of this, and he even came with phone number references for his other doms.)

We then started an email exchange and after approximately 40 emails outlining LITERALLY everything, we arranged to meet up Friday at a semi public location.

I was coming from a meeting in the valley so I was kinda dressed up, but at about 4:00 on Friday we met at a park not too far from my house.

It's super quiet since not a lot of people know about it, but I knew I could EASILY beat feet if this guy was a legit Buffalo Bill.

Minutes after my arrival I see a built guy approach me wearing glasses and a hat.

He asks if he can put his hood on.

Sure, I say, noticing that no one was around and very honestly even if they were - I didn't really care.

We barely spoke, he brought me some wine as a gift (he likes being humiliated and objectified).

I placed the wine in my bag and he immediately went to town.

I asked prior if wearing my normal knee high socks were an added turn on similar to lingerie - but he said no, he was into just the feet.

He then removed my knee highs and I placed a hoodie in between my legs to not give him too much of a room with a view. (I'm always in a skirt or dress.)

He then started massaging my feet as I started live tweeting what was happening.

He didn't want me to speak to him or address him at all - I was instructed to ignore him and be mean to him as much as possible.

The thing about me though is that I am an introvert; writing is my emotional default. When it comes to business, yes, I am a hustler and literally live on getting shit done - but in my personal life ... I'm EXTREMELY shy. It surprises guys that I like because I turn into a deer in headlights not knowing what to say, and people expect when they meet me this larger than life personality ... it's hilarious. I'm a LOT quieter in person, particularly when I'm crushing on a dude. 

This, however, was not a time to be quiet. I had to be a nasty naughty bitch and I literally could not say a single word.

<tangent> Dudes, I can't even talk dirty in bed!! I am SO FREAKING BASHFUL!! Even a few weeks ago after this super awesome date the dude walked me to my door and my roomie and her boyfriend were coming back from their date and caught us making out in the stairwell ... I turned SOOO RED!!! And it's just a PDA!!!! But I ... can't .... do ... it ... it's horrible, and clearly something I need to work on.

And FTR, it's not the traditional PDA that I have a problem with, I'll make out anywhere ... but when it's someone that I know ... I get WEIRD. I'm EXTREMELY particular with guys that I bring into my social circle. It's one thing to date a person, another to introduce them to your friends. </tangent>

He continued to rub my feet in hands down one of the BEST foot massages I have ever had, as I ignored him while I answered emails and live tweeted the entire situation.


The massage lasted for about a half an hour. He rubbed in between all my toes, and all over my feet, even going as far up as my calves.

I hate that we have to cut this short, he says as he stops, but I have to go now.

It's okay, I said. I really really really enjoyed this.

Really? he asked surprised and still wearing his hood.

ABSOLUTELY!!! I replied back enthusiastically. I really want to get into this.

He then kneeled and took a deep breath - you have no idea what a relief that is to me.

It then struck me how closeted this man is with his fetish. He is SO afraid people are going to find it weird that he has to suppress it so deeply.

My heart broke in that moment.

Yes, I'm into this! How could I not be!! It's amazing and feels really good.

He took another deep sigh.

If I'm going to do this though, I really want to get into it, I instructed. I want to get shoes and a riding crop - I have to psychologically compartmentalize it within myself that when I am in this moment with you, I am a dom and not the sub that I normally am in my personal life. Can we talk via email and outline exactly what each of us wants from this dynamic in the future? I want everything outlined so no matter what we are both clear.

Yes, that would be great.

He then took yet another deep breath. You have no idea what this means to me. I can't believe you enjoyed this.

Of COURSE I did, I say (what chick wouldn't dig an AMAZING foot massage), but I want to really get into this and vocalize my own personal truth by expressing myself more as a dom. Email me?

Yes, he said as he took off the hood (I turned around to not see his face), placing the glasses and hat back on.

Bye bye, I say not turning around.

ANNNDDD there you have it ladies and germie men. It wasn't "weird" or "creepy" at all - it was EXTREMELY enjoyable and while sexually it may not do anything for me, it is CERTAINLY going to help me break free of the shyness that I feel in my personal life and help me articulate more of my personal truth (which AGAIN is my lesson with the modern day shaman. W2g universe!!!)

He has since emailed me, and we are now going to outline our boundaries - this is by no means done. I can't WAAAIIIITTTTTT to get a riding crop and literally beat the bejesus out of the duderino for being a bad bad boy. =)

"Express yourself don't repress yourself"




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