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<editorsnote> Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world.  We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!! </editorsnote>

 

 

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Saturday
Jun022012

#RealDeal: Last year I was drugged at a bar, here's what the experience was actually like

Alrite, so I've kinda talked about this before on the site - but I've kicked it with my buddy who actually grabbed me out of the cab with the offenders the last two weekends and he has told me more deets on what went down.

<tangent> I never ever ever hide anything from you guys, but I genuinely never knew what happened until I got more details last night, nor did I want to freak anyone out as this was statistically speaking an anomaly ... like getting hit in the head with the brick. I have lived my life at the mercy of the wonderful world for 2.5 years. That is over 912.5 days where ANNNYYTHHIINNNNGGGG could have happened. Out of those 912.5 plus days, there were only 2 that were truly scary. That's 1 instance every 456.25 days. Not too shabby!!! </tangent>

So, last year I was terrified about going to bars and just kicking it by myself. See, I had built out this online personality which was great since for the first time in forever I had friends, dudes were asking me out right and left - life was bueno. The only problem with that though was the fact that IRL I was still painfully shy. I'm an extroverted introvert. If ever given a default I will always always always choose a hoodie and headphones over literally ANYTHING in life. I dig being a people watcher and dig just being in my own contained space chillin. I'm definitely a lone ranger (hence why I am not often in relationships) and just live in my own little land of lah.

That's cool and all for starting an online business, but for me on a personal and spiritual level, I realized I had to walk towards that place of uncomfort so I could grow and genuinely become a better person.

Bars scared the SHIT out of me. The whole scene in general is horrid. When I was modeling and in my early 20s absolutely NOOOOOO guys would approach me because they ALL said you were "way outta my league." So the only guys I was exposed to (no pun intended) were the ones that were TOTAL douches and only approached because they had "nothing left to lose." It's whatever, that was my constant growing up, but last year at 26 I was just ready to break free of all the bullshit and get out of my own head.

I had started a sponsorship with Effing Gear rocking their location based tees at bars to see if dudes would approach (if I was going to go into this I couldn't do it blindly, so I was trying to increase my odds of being approached by giving guys an obvious ice breaker).

I kicked off the experiment on Cinco de Mayo, and had no probs. Then, the following Tuesday, my buddy @lindsaymc came over and we were kicking it. I told her I was about to start night two of the experiment and she asked if she could come along for the first hour or so to get everything going.

Where are you going to go tonight? she asked

Happy Endings, I replied. It's over on Sunset. (yes, I see the irony in telling you all that this story happened at a bar called Happy Endings.)

We then got in her car, and Lindsay joined me for a quick beer before she unleashed me into the wild world of solo bar sitting.

I had always felt comfortable at Happy Endings because I had been kicking it here since it opened in 2007. This bar and I go back ... WAYYY back ... and since I knew a bunch of the bartenders I felt pretty kosher for passover.

 

This place didn't even use to have a dance floor, so I would just create one!

I quickly make myself comfortable watching whatever game was on TV, and visualized myself being as cool as a cucumber.

Think like the cucumber, Friel. You can do this ... quit being scared of guys at bars. You've got this.

After my second beer the place started to fill up, and I made friends with this other solo chickadee.

We struck up a quick friendship, and moments later a guy came up to us and asked if he could buy us a drink.

Sure, we both said.

We both then went with him over to the bar so I could keep an eye on my drink and as we got over to the bar his other friend approached.

I turned around to introduce myself as the first guy ordered and paid for our drinks.

Seconds later he hands both me and my new girlfriend a shot.

Bottoms up, he said as we all cheersed.

I then put the shot glass to my mouth as I felt the whiskey burn my throat.

That is my absolute last memory of the evening.

I very vaguely remember putting my purse (which is a messenger bag) around me at some point seconds later - but I went from being barely buzzed (TWO BEERS in like THREE HOURS) to waking up on my bathroom floor in a pool of my own vomit and hearing my roommate (who I had just moved in with a few weeks prior) saying she had to go to work and asking if I was okay in the bathroom.

I remember those first few seconds of consciousness and being INCREDIBLY confused how I got back here. I'm not even kidding you, my last memory was around EIGHT PM ON TUESDAY and it is now SEVEN AM ON WEDNESDAY!!!

I immediately checked for my purse which was fortunately still slung around my shoulder but awkwardly considering I had faceplanted onto the bathroom floor.

I then checked my clothing. To my surprise everything was still on ... and I mean ... everything.

I realized at this point I had been drugged, but I had NO idea how I ended up back home, let alone inside my apartment safe and sound.

I then tried to move, but felt so sick.

I asked my roommate if I could have just one more minute in the bathroom, to which she agreed.

I then stood up and immediately vomited. It. Was. Bad.

I grabbed the bathmat to not freak her out with how sick I was, and to make sure I could clean it properly.

I walked out of the bathroom and immediately excused myself to my room.

There was vomit all over my dress, all over my shoes, in my hair - I was a lean mean vomit machine.

Whatever I was given made me INCREDIBLY sick - worse than any hangover, worse than any anything!! My body did not like this.

I then passed out on my bed for a few hours as my roommate got ready for work, and sometime before noon I went into the shower and started sobbing.

How could I be so stupid, I thought? How could I let something like this happen to me?

I then tried to replay the evening's events, and the last thing I could remember was taking the shot - I could barely even remember the faces of the guys I was talking to.

How the HELL did I get back home, I wondered.

I then turned off the shower and popped on twitter. I knew I didn't want to tell people what had happened just yet, but I was trying to see if I had tweeted anything from the evening prior that might have given me some clues as to what had happened.

I then see a tweet from my buddy Eddie.

"I've never seen someone that drunk before in all my life," he tweets.

I immediately start sobbing thinking it's because I wasn't drunk - I was drugged.

I pick up my cell to call him, taking a deep breath as I do so.

What happened to me last night, I ask?

You were really messed up, Jen. I've never seen anything like it.

I know, I said, I was drugged. The last thing I remember was taking this drink that this guy had bought me and literally waking up on the floor of my bathroom 11 hours later.

I know, he said, I took you home.

Wait, WHAT?

Yeah, I just happened to stop by Happy on my way home and I said hello to you, but realized you were pretty fucked up. As I was leaving, these two dudes were trying to take you and this other girl into a cab. You both were out of your mind fucked up, but the guys seemed pretty sober.

What did you do? I asked

I literally PULLED you from the cab. I knew you, and I know how you get - you don't go home with people like that.

I KNOW I say as I hold back tears.

<tangent> I might have my sexual fun, but I've genuinely never gone home with a dude straight from the bar. Yes, I have met guys at a bar and had some "some some to the some fun" with them later in the weekend, but never ... EVER have I met someone at a bar and immediately been like - let's go. It's not safe. </tangent>

The fact that 1) I was THAT drunk ... ON A FREAKING TUESDAY and 2) was going home with some random people was a MAAJOOORRRRRRRRRRR red flag for my friend who was brazen enough from having lived in Vegas and seen girls get drugged before - to pull me from the cab and away from those guys.

I knew if you got in that cab, I might not have seen you again. It was scary, he said to me last night.

I haven't kicked it with Eddie that much in the last year just due to genuinely crazy schedules, but when he said that sentence to me last night I realized I really needed to write about this experience.

There I was at a bar I knew, on a random day of the week, NOT intoxicated, and after turning away for LITEARLLY a second to introduce myself to the other friend both me and the other girl were drugged. I am like a HAWK at bars, and even I still missed it.

The other girl did go into the car with the guys since Eddie didn't know who she was - and very genuinely I don't remember much of what she looked like, or again who the guys were. I was barely conscious enough to even tell Eddie where I lived, let alone be able to walk the steps up to my apartment (Eddie had to carry me).

I have since gone back to Happy Endings numerous times, but have been EXTREMELY cautious with my drinks. One of my old neighbors is actually a bartender there, and she cautioned me once on even parking on Orange (the street right next to HE). We call it "rape alley" here. It's not funny, but almost everyone here has been grabbed or assaulted.

I don't say this to bring any "bad press" or ANY negativity to Happy Endings - I love the bar, but come on, the douche level has gotten WAYYYYYYY out of hand, and if you KNOW these things are occuring why can't you beef up security outside, or maybe even hire a few extra guards to pace around the perimiter more ... SOMETHING!!!!

It is through extremely good karma and genuinely just knowing a lot of people in this city that something worse did not happen to me. I literally cannot allow my brain to think about it too much without it upsetting me, but this is a cautionary tale to all the ladies out there ... this experience didn't just happen to "someone I knew" ... I fucking LIVED it and was sick for TWO DAYS with flu-like symptoms. I'm EXTREMELY grateful I wasn't raped, however these things happen ... all. the. time. Please don't make the same mistake I did and ALWAYS watch your drink go from the bartender's hand to yours. Do NOT let anyone hand you a drink, EVER. It doesn't matter time of day, or day of the week. Please please please be careful out there, nerds! And if anyone else has a story about Happy Endings or any other bars in Hollywood - hit me up. I'm curious if this is more common than I think. 

JenFriel at talknerdytomelover d c

#nerdsunite

 

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