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<editorsnote> Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world.  We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!! </editorsnote>

 

 

 

 

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Monday
Mar042013

#ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: You're at a karaoke bar in Koreatown and Kiefer Sutherland walks in ...

This was such a strange weekend. I got a flat tire in the middle of rush hour on one of the busiest streets in Los Angeles, went to a random bar in Koreatown and saw Kiefer Sutherland, AND went to this celebrity's birthday party AFTER I got into a 20 minute SUPER heated argument with a dude about the Facebook IPO. Mind you, this was at a bar, AND what started off as a flirtatious banter ended in complete, complete disaster. 

I'm getting ahead of myself as usual. Here's what I'm listening to as I write this ...

Friday afternoon I came back from my trip to Arizona. The sponsors arranged for my flight to come back to Burbank (since I live in WeHo it's easier to get to vs having to drive alllll the way down to LAX).

I friggen LOVE that airport because it's so small and TOTALLY reminds me of the Black Betty scene in the movie Blow ... 

There I was with my little Kipling duffle bag and Stunner of the Month shades feeling like a million freaking bucks. 

The world is yours Frieelllllll!!! 

Wait, wrong movie. 

Anyway, I then picked up my Beetle at the valet (after losing my ticket. Well done.) and drove back to Hollywood. I wanted to drop off all my stuff before heading down to a photo shoot in downtown LA for this startup I am advising. See, for the site and publicity in general, we needed to have some purty girls smile and pose for the camera. While I'm not involved in the production end of things, I am the project manager and glue of everything. If the shit hits the fan, or if ANYTHING goes wrong - it all falls on my shoulders. I developed out the team, and have to make sure everything is on task. As project manager you're like the pulse of the project. 

Before I went home though, I decided to stop off at the very wonderful Wells Fargo to put some money in my account for rent which was due. 

Instead of going to my normal branch, I decided to go to the one from earlier in the week and see if I could run into the "Wells Fargo Hottie" again. 

I spent 15 minutes primping in the car before walking in. I wanted my makeup to still be "natural" but definitely not AS natural as last time. 

I took a series of deep breaths before opening the door. 

You can do this Friel ... don't be afraid. Own it!! OWN IT WOMAN!!!!! 

I walked in, and was immediately greeted by security. 

They have the FRIENDLIEST customer service ever!!! 

I then filled out my deposit slip as I glanced around the branch. 

Fuck, he's not here, I thought. Damnit. 

Monday, I thought. I'll just come back Monday since I know he works that day!! 

I deposited my check and drove home. I was a few blocks away from my house cruising down Sunset blvd with my windows down when all of the sudden I hear this very strange busting sound. It honestly sounded like someone was rear ended so I stuck my head out of the window to make sure no one was hurt or needed anything. 

As I pulled up to the red light though I quickly realized there was no accident. 

But I heard something ... I thought as I muted the radio. 

Excuse me, said the guy two lanes over in a mini cooper. Your tire just bursted. 

Oh shit, that was me!!! I said out loud. I was wondering what that was!! 

I would pull over right now he said. You're going to mess up your axel. 

Thank you for the heads up!! I said. 

I then pulled into the gas station and realized it wasn't just a tire that had blown, it was MY FRIGGEN SPARE TIRE!!! 

See, right before I had put my car through the 779 day exile, I got a flat and never bothered to get a new tire. Mostly because I couldn't afford it, but I figured I'd just ride out the spare for as long as I could. 

I'll get a tire eventually, I would say over and over. 

Um. Yeah. Talk about procrastination. 

I then called AAA and asked if their tow truck drivers sold tires. 

Do we sell tires? asked the customer service rep. No we do not ma'am. 

Not you, I said to the rep, but the tow truck companies that you guys out source to. My spare burst so I was wondering even if I could purchase another spare. 

No ma'am. We don't sell anything like that. The best we can do is tow you to a place where you can get it fixed. 

I looked up at the clock. It was exactly 6pm. 

What is going to be open now? I asked the rep. 

Not much, she said back. 

I'll figure this out, I said. Thanks for the help. 

I then went over and filled the tire with as much air as I could and decided to drive it home the few blocks where I could at least park it for the night and get the new tire in the morning. 

As I bent over in my slightly shorter than usual skirt a crowd of men started to gather. 

Not a SINGLE fucking dude asked if I needed help but they were all SUPER happy to stare as I got down on my knees putting the hose up to the nozzle. 

I shook my head as I laughed. 

MEN!!! They're so wonderful, and yet so useless. 

After a few minutes and a few lbs of pressure added, I then got up and attempted to drive the vehicle the few blocks up the hill. 

You can do this Beetle. Just a ffeewwww blocks. 

Again, because this was my spare the hub cap wasn't on. If this thing got too flat I was DEFINITELY going to be fucked. 

I put both the front windows down in my car as I slowly pulled into rush hour traffic. 

I stuck my left hand out as I made eye contact with each driver BEGGING if I could cut in. 

It's an emergency, I mouthed over and over. 

This totally works, btw but you don't want to do it too often for karmic purposes. 

I then slowly drove home as the other people on the road got angry. 

Pull over!! Screamed a dude in a Mercedes. Get out of the way!!!!! 

This is what I'm trying to do, I thought calmly not responding back and instead choosing to carefully focus on driving. 

Finally, I made it home safe and parked the car. 

Realizing I wasn't going to make the shoot I decided to just get ready for my date which was in a few hours. 

<tangent> Because I have made a conscious effort to no longer document dating in real time, I cannot say what happened or how it went in general. Rather, I will focus on the location of said date. </tangent>

I'd like to take you to Koreatown, he said in a text. 

Koreatown? I thought. My last venture there didn't go over so well. 

Realizing I needed to just put on my big girl pants and get over it, I decided to text back SURE! Sounds great!! And see where the night took us. 

First, we went to dinner followed by a stop off at one of his favorite bars. 

Because we were there early, we were quickly able to get a primo spot in one of the booths. 

About an hour into our stay, I looked up and noticed a familiar face. 

Holy crap, I said to my date. That's Kiefer Sutherland!! 

 

That's totally him!! He said back. Wonder what he's doing here? This is such a quiet spot. 

I'm sure that's the point, I said back. I don't think anyone would assume someone like Kiefer Sutherland would be at a place like this. 

A few more hours go by and I then spotted yet ANOTHER familiar face. It was a twitter friend of mine named Brian. 

Do you mind if I go and say hello? I said to my date in an attempt to be respectful. 

Not at all, he said. 

LA is a SUPER freaking small world, btw. Even in the most RANDOM bar in Koreatown you'll still bump into someone you know because of social media. I DIDN'T EVEN CHECKIN ON FOURSQUARE EITHER!!! It's just THAT small of a place!!

Sometime later my date and I left. I hugged my friend on the way out the door and said I'd see him on the interwebz. 

::Flash forward 12 hours til Satuday morning:: 

SEE! That's intimacy right there mothafucka! Totally not interested in giving you all the dirty deets of the date. Keeping things to myself for once?! What a concept!! 

Either way, Saturday morning I woke up super early to just take care of my tire. I STILL think that's a loss of a business opportunity for tow truck drivers for AAA. For reals, man, I would have spent EASILY $200 right then and there just to get the thing taken care of. I am the most FRUGAL PERSON ON THE PLANET!!!! But the convenience of just having it get done totally makes it worth it. Dude, even if AAA just sold spares. I know cars have all different sized tires, but donuts are standard aren't they? Sell those for like $200!!! Bah. 

I was standing outside by my car waiting for the tow truck driver in just a tshirt and skirt as I got approached by a dude in an Accord. 

Are you locked out? He asked kinda seductively. 

No, I said back. Flat tire. 

Oh, he said as he continued to just drive off. 

Men and chicks stranded by cars, man. They don't even necessarily want to help, they just want to stare at her as she struggles and see if there's a chance they can get laid from it. 

Sigh. 

My car was then towed to a nearby tire shop and after a few hours everything got balanced out and taken care of. 

As I was driving back I remembered that two of the guys that I'm working with on this startup had asked for help with their new Macbook Pro retinas. They're not techie people AT ALL so I offered to help them whenever they needed it. 

When I got home I sent them a text asking if today worked for a lesson. 

That'd be great, they both said back. 

Please have all the devices charged and I'll see you at 2:30 I texted back. 

A few hours later, I then went up to Hollywood to kick it with the dudes. 

Let's go by the pool and do this, said one of the guys. 

I laughed thinking water and computers don't exactly mix but go figs. 

We then got down by the pool and the guys started to chill. 

While they were doing so though I made sure I set up their personal hotspots on their iPhones and explained to them some of the basics of their new devices in general. 

Do you mind if we do this another day, said one of the guys? It's gorgeous out (it was 85 here on Saturday) and we just kinda wanna chill. 

I laughed thinking, why did you even bring me up here then?? 

Before the thought finished, one of the guys said, we knew if we asked you for help with our computers you'd come and hang out. That's the only way we ever get to chill with you. 

I stared laughing. 

They're totally right, I do need to find balance but it's just SO HARD when I've worked INSANELY hard to now get to where I am. Now that I am here, I feel like I am genuinely just getting started and am ready to roll up my sleeves and continue all the hard work. 

Having an "off" button is extremely difficult for me. The only one that I have is for the hour I am in spin class every day and the half hour after I putz around the gym. 

Everything else is work and I LOVE it!!! 

We're really happy working with you, said one of the guys. 

Dude, me too!! I said back. I love you guys and am so inspired by this project in general. 

We then went back and forth on some of the financials. These guys are INSANELY successful in business. This is their first tech company, but they've ALL done EXTREMELY EXTREMELY well in business and being around people that "play" with money vs. worry about it is a gnarly experience. 

There's this peace and calm around them. I experienced that serenity myself a few months back when I started to ground myself financially, but these guys are NEXT LEVEL!!! Super smart, and have all of these different avenues to still generate revenue if what we are doing doesn't work out exactly as planned. 

The way their minds work, and they way they are not afraid to be responsible for such ENORMOUS amounts of cash is extremely inspiring to me. 

One of the first things they ever told me was that most people are afraid to pull the trigger on really big deals. They don't know how to handle it when they get it, one of the guys said. They either freak out and run, or they make stupid mistakes. We do this shit all the time. To us it's just play. 

Funny, I thought that I was the one that was supposed to act as the advisor and yet here I am being advised on the execution of large business deals and psychology of managing it all. 

This is exactly where I need to be right now, I thought as I stared out at the beautiful people swimming in the pool. I needed these people to give me this crash course in business structure, and they needed me to understand new media and tech. Such a win win!! 

One of the guys then got a text. 

What are you doing tonight? he asked. 

Realizing my night plans revolved around dying my hair and writing ... I quickly replied back, nothing!! 

Great, he said. Come to this house at 1pm for an after hours party. 

Awesome, I said excited to continue the bonding session. 

After the pool, I then went to spin class and on the way back I got a Facebook message from a chick I met at the bar last week with my manager. 

<tangent> See he is trying to help me get over the "hump" of my dating dilemma by being a wing dude for me at bars. You just need to get out there, he tells me over and over. Instead of doing so though, I come up with every excuse in the book to busy myself with work and finally last weekend he called me on it. While I was being fed to the lions at one of the bars, he made friends with these two greek girls. Before we left I told them the name of my site, and what I do ... yada yada. Well, shocker shocker they found me, and to my EXTREME delight (since they were so rad) one of the girls had messaged me. </tangent>

 

I need to put on my big girl pants again, I said to myself in the mirror after I got out of the shower. If I can give so much advice to dudes on dating, I have to take some of my own advice and put myself out there. 

I then tried on a series of dresses getting outfit approval from my roommate's boyfriend. 

I get so awkward, I said to him in distress. I need to break myself of that. 

I can't at ALL imagine you being awkward Jen, he said. 

I do though!! If I'm not into the guy I'm fine and totally personable. If I am into him though, I shut down emotionally and guys have told me I come off extremely cold and seem almost disinterested. The disinterest though comes from the fact that I'm SO in my head and freaking out over every little thing I am doing. 

You shut down emotionally? That I can see, he said. 

I smirked back, understanding the root of my own issue, but decided to still forge on and get my butt out there. 

 

click the screenshot to comment on Facebook

Self growth. Focus on self growth. 

I then drove out to the bar and quickly found my Greek friends sitting at one of the tables. To my surprise though, they were not alone. 

Hello, I say giving them each a hug. 

Two men then stand up and kiss me on each of my cheeks. 

This is unexpected, I thought. 

Come to find out the two dudes are also Greek and are good friends with the girls.

We all started to chat as I ordered a drink. 

As another round was brought to the table, we all raised our glasses in a toast. 

YAMAS!!! Shouted one of the guys. 

What does that mean? I asked. 

Cheers in Greek!! he said excited. 

That's amazing, I said. Now I'll know when I go to Greece how to toast like a local. 

Are you going to Greece? asked one of the guys. 

Yeah, I said. It's on my life list and looks like an incredibly beautiful place.

It is, he said. I have a hotel there. 

Congrats, I said back slightly surprised at his age (which was no more than 26)

We then started talking a little bit about what we each did. I told the group about this site, and my life in general and the guy with the hotel told me that he worked as a hedge fund manager in Orange County. 

I need to figure out how to promote the hotel though on the internet. What would you suggest? he asked. 

What do you currently have working for you? 

Nothing, he said. I want to do SEO targeting specific countries. 

That's not an issue, I said. Do you have a CTO? 

What's a CTO, he asked. 

It's a chief tech officer. They can help you with your SEO strategy in addition to new media and honestly anything digital. If I were you I'd just hire someone on freelance to start and then grow out the position depending on their skill set. Since this isn't your specialty you definitely want to find the right fit. 

Thanks for the advice, he said. 

No problemo! I said back. 

We then continued our discussion with the group. The hotel dude was circling me though energetically. I could feel him ready to pounce at any moment and I just wasn't into him. Super cool dude, but I can't date younger. 

A few more people joined us about an hour later and they too were also greek. 

This is great, I said to the newbies. I never hang out with greek people. I love your energy!! You guys really love to party. 

Oh yes, one of the guys said back. 

We then struck up a conversation and come to find out one of the newbs is a lawyer. My dad is a lawyer and I'm SUPER fascinated by the law in general, so immediately this guy struck a chord. 

We then went back and forth a bit about the Facebook IPO before the hotel dude interrupted. 

Google is going to kill Facebook. Facebook has no value. 

What do you mean? I asked sternly. 

It's got no revenue coming in and who cares about users profiles? It's no better than LinkedIn. I don't get what the big deal is and why the IPO was valued so high to begin with. 

At this point I can FEEL my heart pounding a little faster as my face begins so flush and my body gets noticibly tense. 

Facebook and the IPO are two different discussion points. The IPO in general was rubbish, and history will dictate that. HOWEVER, how can you say it has no value?!?! It's a communication coup d'tait!!! When your GRANDMOTHER is on Facebook and using it on a daily basis, you have something. 

But what's the point? he asked. Google is still where it is at. Search is still everything.

DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND WHERE THE TREND IS GOING?!?! I SAID REALLY. REALLY. REALLY. LOUDLY. ABOUT AS LOUD AS THESE CAPS LOCKS ARE INDICATING. 

I continue ... 

We aren't going to search for things anymore, things are going to find us based on the information and profiles we create online. Our digital personalities are MOOONNNEEEYYYYYYY to companies and is changing the face of marketing in general. 

He then scoffed and everytime I spoke flashed micro-expressions in anger in addition to looking away from me entirely. 

What started off as this dude just wanting to playfully banter turned into an all out brawl and on a scale of 1-10 his attraction to me went from 10 - negative 500. 

This is why you don't get laid, Friel. You need to learn to play better with others and not yell at them. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

At this point I still had about an hour and a half til the after party, so I decided to just grab my check and bounce back to my apartment to chill for a bit. 

I need to shake this off, I thought. 

I then went home and put on Robyn's Dancing on my own

For the next 4:07 seconds I then danced my little heart out shaking off all the bad chi. 

See, this is my issue ... based on commercial attraction and mathematical symmetry of my features, I NEVER have a problem getting a dude ... but keeping them from wanting to punch me in the face before the end of the night isn't always easy. I'm EXTREMELY opinionated, and at bars guys genuinely don't care to hear it. 

I kept dancing. 

Float like the feather, be free and fuck everything else, I thought. 

After a few repeated verses I got in my car and drove to the location after party. 

<tangent> Because of who these people are, and their very very private nature I cannot discuss what happened throughout the whole evening BUT I can tell you all this super fast tidbit. </tangent>

So, there were maybe 25 people at the party (it was growing by the minute) and everyone was in the entertainment industry in some capacity. Being the only person there in tech immediately increases my value since it's different, AND being a chick doing something technical is absolutely ALWAYS a boxer dropper for duderinos. 

I was sitting there playing with one of the dogs and this actor came over and sat next to me. 

Immediately I recognized him as he was in a very big hit this year at the box office. 

He started to ask me about what I did, and I briefly told him. 

Wow, he said. That's an incredible story. 

He then scooched closer ... 

So, how much do you talk about sex on your site? he asked just above a whisper. 

Depends, I said. I'm an open book but I'm at a very different place in my life right now.

What do you mean? he asked. 

I'm over it, I said. I'm not about the divide and conquering anymore (pun intended). I just want a dude I can talk to and do cool shit with. I normally get stopped at the first prerequisite as I haven't found a lot of smart men in LA. 

His eyes then went down my body and my little black dress. 

You are very sexy, he said. 

Thank you, I smiled back sweetly. 

He then very bluntly let me know his intentions ... 

I'd like to take you in the bathroom right now, and bend you over. 

Mind you, he said it with 95% less class but you get the idea. 

What would you think of that? he asked. 

Without skipping a beat, I replied, but what's in it for me? Just because you're hot shit doesn't mean I'm going to like you or even enjoy myself for that matter. 

His friend then came over as he high fived him and invited him to sit down. 

You have to talk to this girl, he said. 

I then chatted with his friend for a few minutes on dualities in personalities.

We're all light and dark. Like Bruce Wayne, he said. 

Well, I don't know if it's that extreme, I said but I do believe in social masks and that we highlight different aspects of our character depending upon who we are around. 

Another friend then approached as the actor said he had to go. 

Are you going to stay? he asked the guy I was talking to. 

Yeah, he said. I like it here. 

Alrite, the actor said back. Can I have the key to the Aston? (Aston Martin) 

The guy then reached into his pocket and realized he had dropped his key. 

All of the guys started to search for it in the dark. 

Here, I said grabbing my iPhone. At least use this - I turn on my flashlight app. 

The guys spend about 15 minutes looking for the key. At that point it was nearing 4:30 and my motivation to stay awake was starting to wane. 

I then peaced out and came home to watch Bloomberg's Game Changers: Jay Z on Netflix. 

I reflected on the evening as I sat in my oversized t-shirt drinking from the Star Wars mug I had been carrying the night I got hit in the head with the brick. 

I'm definitely different, no doubt about it - but a guy one day is going to view that as cool and not be freaked out by it. I might be socially a bit aggressive, and weird but who fucking cares!! I like me, and my only job right now is to continue to focus on the self work. Stopping serial dating in general has done WONDERS for my self esteem and I have no doubt that the rest will just fall into place too. 

Float like the feather, Friel. Just keep on floating. 

Besides, chalk one for my ego that I totally could have boned that dude. He's INSANELY gorgeous and SUPER popular right now, but I honestly didn't care. I really am at a different place in my life right now and I wasn't willing to sacrifice the self work for just a story. 

Oh maturity must you BE so practical??? 

Sigh. 

#kthxbye

 

click the screenshot to comment on Facebook

 

References (13)

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  • Response
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    #ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: You're at a karaoke bar in Koreatown and Kiefer Sutherland walks in ... - Home - Talk Nerdy To Me Lover
  • Response
    #ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: You're at a karaoke bar in Koreatown and Kiefer Sutherland walks in ... - Home - Talk Nerdy To Me Lover
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    #ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: You're at a karaoke bar in Koreatown and Kiefer Sutherland walks in ... - Home - Talk Nerdy To Me Lover
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    #ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: You're at a karaoke bar in Koreatown and Kiefer Sutherland walks in ... - Home - Talk Nerdy To Me Lover
  • Response
    #ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: You're at a karaoke bar in Koreatown and Kiefer Sutherland walks in ... - Home - Talk Nerdy To Me Lover
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    #ThatAwkwardMomentWhen: You're at a karaoke bar in Koreatown and Kiefer Sutherland walks in ... - Home - Talk Nerdy To Me Lover
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