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<editorsnote> Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world.  We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!! </editorsnote>



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#RealDeal: Quit being awkward, start being awesome (the story of the Wells Fargo Hottie)

Alrite, finally ready to write this out. 

Yesterday was a big day for me on a "get your shit together on a personal level Friel." 

I've completely stopped serial dating (and have actually only been dating una persona and we were set up versus meeting in any digital capacity) and am finally getting my confidence back emotionally regarding men. It's SUPER easy to be an ice queen and to slip in my domme shoes but IMHO the most beautiful thing a person display is their vulnerability. 

Being such a guarded person the IDEA of showing any sign of weakness is no bueno. The second I feel a connection with a dude (aka holy crap he's got something over me) I can feel myself tense up and start tripping over what I'm going to say next, analyzing if is his body language receptive; I try my DARNDEST to figure out if he likes me. 

I'm a mess. I'm a hot hot mess. 

Hence why those that can't do teach. 

I took getting hit on by the Wells Fargo Hottie last week as a wonderful gift from the universe. Here was this dude on level: Adonis presented to me, and not ONLY did I get to speak to him BUT HE FRIGGEN HIT ON ME!!!!! 

I get cute ... sometimes adorable ... very rare occasion sexy ... but beautiful? A man calling a woman beautiful is just ... the best thing ever. He was SO genuine about it and even more awesome that I was not wearing a DROP of makeup. 

Suddenly the 20 something year old from Connecticut was on display and not the badass chick with a blog. 

Either way, I totally just bolted instead of flirting back like a champ so I did the only logical thing a person would do ... plan to "bump" into him again. 

Our first meeting was on a Monday afternoon, so I figured that must be his shift and I'm sure I could see him again. 

Yesterday, after my conference call for the dating auction benefiting colon cancer (I volunteered to be one of the hosts ... more on that later) I got all gussied up in the hopes of seeing the Adonis again. 

The time was approximately 3pm which I figured was still within a scheduled shift while factoring in any variables for lunch. 

I planned every aspect of my look carefully. 

I knew because he hit on me without any makeup he wasn't the kinda dude that would be into the whole "caked on" look, so I kept it very natural and classy while highlighting my eye balls ... 


Dudes dig eyeballs. Show 'em off ladies!!!

Then when it came to the outfit I wanted something that screamed lady in the streets but freak in the sheets. 

(Both are true, btw.) 

I then arranged this from my closet ... 

The long sweater with the skirt say, hey ... I'm a classy broad that you can take home to your mama. 
The shoes say ... I'm going to keep these on while I do naughty, naughty things to parts of your body you didn't know you had. 

After a quick posting in social media to approve of the outfit, I got in my little beetle convertible and drove down to Wells Fargo. 

Again, not my normal bank so a bit further of a drive, but a second chance with an Adonis is ALWAYS worth it. 

As I started down the street I put down both of my windows and hooked up my iphone to the aux cable. 

There is only one song I need right now, I said to myself looking in the rear view mirror. 

I pulled up Spotify, my "overplayed" playlist, and selected this track ... 

I don't know why I'm SO OBSESSED with this song but it is in top 3 of my favorite songs ever and always puts me in the BEST MOOD!!! 

I proceeded to drive down the street blasting Toto like it. was. mah. job. 

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you!! There's nothing that 100 men or more could ever do!!! I bless the rains down in AAAAFFFRRIIIICCCAAAA!!! 

<tangent> I'm totally serious, btw. Singing this FROM THE SOUL without shame, or a care in the world is the greatest feeling ever. I suggest doing it on your commute home. I warn you though, it WILL change your life. </tangent> 

A few minutes later I arrived at the bank. 

I figured my best case scenario was going to be a date with this dude, and my worst case scenario was going to be another checking account that I'll never use. 

As I walked down the street going into the bank I could hear the displacement of air from all of the heads spinning. My outfit was a really, really, big hit as I received multiple compliments just walking those few steps. I freaking LOVE living in West Hollywood! The men are so complimentary and when you look good they make SURE you know it!!! 

I'm good to go, I thought. Let's do this shit. 

I opened the door to the bank. 

I grab my iphone from my purse and pretend to be finishing a text as I approach the withdrawal slips. 

I casually glance around the bank. 


Good job on looking spiffy, Friel. Bad job on being inconspicuous. 

I make small talk with the security guard as I quickly realize the Adonis isn't there. 

NOOOOO!!! I thought. 

I then became super self conscious as ABSOLUTELY no joke everyone was staring at me. 

(There also weren't a lot of customers in the bank - so that in and of itself caused people to stare.) 

I casually glanced over at one of the tellers as I walked over asking to withdraw some cash. 

Not a problem, she said. I really like your outfit. 

I smiled saying thank you. (IF ONLY SHE KNEW!!!!) 

What would you like back, she asked? 

$40 please. 

It seemed like a round enough number. Maybe I have an irrational fear of ATM usage. Totally normal to walk all the way into the bank just to get $40. 

I stopped her as she pulled out two 20s. 

Can I have four $10 bills please? 

Not a problem, she said. 

Yes, good job Friel, less obvious that way since you can't get 10s from the ATM. 

Moments later I was on my way back out the door, as I kicked myself for the missed opportunity. 

What if he doesn't work at this branch? What do I do now? I wondered. 

I drove all the way back home as I plotted what my next action was going to be. Stalking in general is EXTREMELY time consuming, and being such an efficiency freak the thought of going through these motions again completely turned me off. 

There has to be a way to work smarter not harder, I thought. 

I then decided to call the bank. 

Yes, I thought. Very efficient. But what's the point? 

I then concocted this plan where I would say I was calling to get the Adonis' name under the guise of writing a letter to corporate about a fabulous customer service experience. 

It's honest to goodness true since I LOVE Wells Fargo in general for their BEYOND AWESOME service ... and because this guy was so nice I figured it wouldn't be a stretch. 

I googled the banks number on my iPhone and pressed call. 

The bank manager answers. 

Hi, I say. I just had a FABULOUS experience with one of your managers last week, and wanted to write a letter to corporate about it. I just can't remember his name ... 

What does he look like? She asked. 

He's one of the managers, and he had dark hair and light eyes. He might have been latin or something. Not entirely sure. Very very nice guy. 

I tried SO FREAKING HARD to not comment on how insanely gorgeous he was. This was not easy, FTR. 

I think you mean so and so (she gave me his first name) but he's not a bank manager, he's a so and so. I'm actually the manager. 

Ah, I said. Well GREAT job on your employees! I am an extremely happy camper. 

Thank you so much! She said back!! 

I then hung up the phone and realized karmically speaking I am now ACTUALLY going to have to write this letter. 

Again, not entirely a stretch since I do enjoy them all so much. 

First name, first name. This is all I have and this is all that I can work with right now. 

I then filed all of that away as I continued working for the rest of the day. See, when I stopped serial dating I actually had time to pursue a lot of new biz leads. Who knew!! 

I woke up this morning around 7 am still thinking about the Adonis. 

I just need to know his last name. If I can figure out his last name, I can just find him online. NBD!!! 

I picked up the phone again, and decided to call the branch in the hopes of getting a voicemail. See, at most places after hours they have some sort of answering system that defaults to a mailbox based on name. If I was lucky enough that it aggregated based on first names I could AT LEAST access the mailbox and get the last name which will enable me to google and Facebook him. 

I crossed my fingers as the phone kept ringing.

After about 15-20 rings I realized the bank had no machine.


I then grabbed my macbook pro retina and taunted myself. 

Come on little queen of the internet and social media. You say you can find anyone and do anything ... prove it!!! 

I LOVE a good challenge btw!! 

It took me exactly 3 searches, and one confirmation via Facebook to find out that not only did he study law (I LOVE LOVE LOVE lawyers), BUT he went to college 30 minutes away from the place I grew up. 

I continued to flip through limited pictures, and saw that he's also been active in volunteering. 

Who the fuck is this guy, I thought? He's not only an Adonis, BUT he's a humanitarian and digs natural looking chicks?

He might be the holy grail of LA men. I heard a rumor that this kind existed, but after 9 years and a few hundred dates, I wasn't so sure. 

I felt like I was having one of those Grinch moments where my earlier in the week saddened heart suddenly grew three times. 


It might have just been the Red bull though, so let's not get ahead of ourselves. 

So, now I am left with all of his info and his Facebook profile. I can message him but how do you do that and not sound like the CREEPIEST PERSON EVER!!! 

Oh excuse me, we met last week, I thought you were gorgeous, you called me beautiful, and I grabbed quarters and ran instead of actually speaking to you. Now, I've made you an object of affection on my blog and have been actively tweeting and posting about you on Facebook. Totally normal. TOTALLY FREAKING NORMAL!!! 

I feel like if someone did that to me, I'd very honestly be flattered ... but because I've documented this entire journey I also feel like it might shoot me in the foot a bit. Maybe wait a few more days (and a few more posts)

What do you guys think?? Help nerds. Help. 




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    Neat page, Carry on the beneficial work. Thank you so much!
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    #RealDeal: Quit being awkward, start being awesome (the story of the Wells Fargo Hottie) - Home - Talk Nerdy To Me Lover
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    #RealDeal: Quit being awkward, start being awesome (the story of the Wells Fargo Hottie) - Home - Talk Nerdy To Me Lover
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    #RealDeal: Quit being awkward, start being awesome (the story of the Wells Fargo Hottie) - Home - Talk Nerdy To Me Lover

Reader Comments (2)

Lady, I see no problemo with shooting him a message. You don't have to explain how you stalked him down through all the corn in the rows. Cut the games and the walk-ins and the letters and say, "Hey, I met you at the bank last week and unfortunately had to run before I could get to know you better. Fancy a drink at <Insert Place Here>? Not sure if we'll wind up being acquaintances or more, but I got the feeling we'd get on like a house on fire." (Use your own style/language though, natch.) Upfront, easy-breezy beyond all reason, send and don't think about it. :-)

March 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlicia

A guy calls you beautiful and rather than just take the compliment you go out of your way to stalk him down. Sure, it's a cute story for a blog but do you know how unstable and desperate that makes you look? I'm just looking at it from the other side here... I used to work with people and while I was at work I was expected to be polite, obviously, and sometimes I'd throw in the odd compliment to men and women alike. You have no idea how many people would run with that and at night I'd leave to go home and have people waiting outside for me. I didn't find that flattering, it was downright delusional in my eyes.

I'm sure you've considered all of this but I'm just putting it out there. He said you were beautiful - you are - so just take it. No need to run him down over it.

March 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMsAnthope

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