Search TNTML

<editorsnote> Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world.  We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!! </editorsnote>



Powered by Squarespace

#RealDeal: 5 ways to offer each other extra space to enhance relationship

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Ajay Chauhan

Relationship begins to decay, in case any of the partners start to feel suffocated due to the partner’s over clinginess. Couples interested to enhance their relationship and make much stronger should try out different ways that would assist them to understand each other better and to give that much needed space. It is to be remembered that being into relationship is not just a game, but requires plenty of effort for maintaining it. Moreover, it also needs to pass through every test and remain intact.


Spending quality time with friends

It is necessary to understand that everyone would like to spend some quality time with their friends. There might be some special friend, for whom he/she might like to share memories. If the partner tries to stop the person from giving quality time to the friend, this could mean trouble. This actually develops suspicion and is not at all good for a healthy relationship. On the other hand, it would only make the other person to repulse and develop a negative feeling about the partner. Hence, adequate space should be given so that the partner enjoys his/her time with friends, but it is important to know who that friend is.

Taking up different hobbies

It is not necessary that both of them share the same interests. Being love definitely means appreciating one another’s interest, but not at the expense of sacrificing each other’s interests. Therefore, every couple needs to pursue their own hobby, so that they can enjoy themselves and maintain a healthy relationship.

Pressing hard for getting answers

There are times, when a person might handle a situation in a different way. In case, the partner is exhibiting an unusual behavior or quiet, this should not be seen as negativity and too many questions asked in this regard. It would only lead to discomfort in the relationship and unnecessary tension. Also, one should not expect immediate response for such actions.

Becoming a mind reader and too clingy

The partner should not keep on calling every 5 minutes or try to bombard with text messages. It would not be possible for the other person to reply to each of them. Experts state that this could prove to be quite dangerous for the relationship and also not let the partner to focus on his/her work. It might happen that the partner is busy with some important schedule and not have the time to respond. Hence, it is important for the person to give the partner a good amount of time, so that he/she can complete their work and can explain in a relaxed manner about their being late to respond.

Making the partner to understand the importance of providing space

In case, one of the partners is not able to understand the signals, it is, then, high time for both of them to sit down and discuss on providing space to each other. The partner needs to be reassured that giving space is important for mutual development. Communications is known to work always.

With these five top ways, it is sure that the couples would enjoy their relationship.


Ajay is currently associated with Love Wale and has been into writing articles for couples to strengthen their relationships with each other. There are plenty of articles written by him that you can see here


#NerdsUnite: 5 nerdy and dirty gift ideas for your woman

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Mark Tomich

Fello nerds and geeks, in the decades that passed we may have been considered bad, unimaginative lovers and prudes like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory. Today we rule the world and are highly sought after by the opposite sex, mostly so for our imagination and non stop innovation in all fields, bed included.

But still, just like with anyone else, things in the bedroom get stale after a while. Here are some tips on how to reignite the fire. These tips are written with all of us in mind - all of us who enjoy ridiculously obscure movie references, technology, lasers, tribute costumes, long conversations about things nobody around us seems to understand. These are ideas specifically written for people like us, people who are proud to be considered nerds and geeks by both society and ourselves:

1) Nookii - a Board Game for the Bedroom

Yes, you read that right! Now you can merge your two major loves - your love for board games and your love for... well, making love. :) Nookii is not a conventional board game by any means. Actually, Nookii is played by using each other's bodies as boards. Disclaimer: do NOT use a gameboard, keyboard or a doll to replace your partner.

Nookii will lay out a script through a series of cards, and you will be playing on every part of your partner's body. The trick is to resist and wait until you finish the game, which will be a challenge in its own right. You will also learn a lot about your partner that you would never think of trying or asking in just 15 minutes.

2) Roleplaying

There is no better spice for your sexual life than roleplaying. Princess Leia and Han Solo constitute the ultimate nerdy turn on. Princess Leia fantasy became so widspread and mainstream that it even got mentioned in a Friends episode in which Ross wanted Rachel to dress up as Leia, so you can now buy specially adapted costumes for just such an occasion in practically any costume store.

If you are feeling both frisky and exceptionally kinky, you have a set of costumes that will enable you to fill the fantasies of Jabba the Hut with princess Leia at your disposal. Yeah, you can help His Ugliness use the collar around Leia's neck and tame the Princess with no help coming to her rescue this time around.

If Star Wards is not your cup of tea, maybe Star Trek costumes which would allow you to fill in the shoes of Captain Kirk, and your loved one an officer lucky enough to catch his attention would be more to your liking. And, theres always the option of dressing up as some of the manga characters - cosplay conventions can be extremely fun too.

3) 360 panoramic photos

For all of you who admire advanced technological solutions, there is now a very compact (albeit fairly expensive) apparatus for recording your foreplay with style. The 360 degree camera is very small and it will make a photograph of your entire surroundings with a click. Many will find this a bit ridiculous as a sexual refreshment tool, but not us geeks! Even though it is almost a given that you will enjoy it thoroughly, the problem is it might prove itself too much of a distraction, thus you may forget to actually do your bedroom duties. ;)

4) Go Virtual

Many Second Life enthusiasts will be thrilled with a gift in the form of virtual genitals. Should you desire a more tangible present, you could always get a couple of months of premium membership. Second life sexual fantasies have a big advantage of going way over the top. For example, you can have your virtual partner turn into an Egyptian goddess or a common prostitute. Whatever floats your boat. Who wouldn't want that?

Start by sending each other texts sweetened with naked photos, preferably 360-degree ones. You will spend the day fantasizing and hiding you crotch from everybody, but it will be worth it once you get together again. Perfect foreplay.

5) Scavenger Hunt

Try to create a photo scavenger hunt. Give your partner a clue in the form of a rhyme, an abstract fact or some association that only you two will understand about a location, and then have her look for clues until she finally gets the ultimate prize - you. A scavenger hunt can combine many other forms of nerdy play all at once. For example you may use your roleplay costumes and take 360 degree pictures, while leaving clues in Second Life universe all at the same time! The only limit is your imagination.

Jocks of Today

I believe this article proves the point made in the intro - we geeks are todays sexual innovators. And to add to that point, there are sapiophiliac (people who are sexually attracted by intelligence). There is absolutely nothing wrong with it, of course. The truth is that the sexual attraction to intelligence is as old as intelligence itself.

In countries in which respectable women were traditionally cloistered it has sometimes been the case that courtesans were able to ply their trade less because of their looks and more because they were educated and could carry on an interesting conversation. Some historians even argue that Cleopatra was actually not that beautiful as we are lead to believe. Her legendary beauty is actually the way her contemporaries saw her due to the fact that she was simply pretty, but also very smart. She was also attractive because she was powerful, of course.



Unkie Chuck Norris Says ... 


The sky has never been the limit. We are our own limits. It’s then about breaking our personal limits and outgrowing ourselves to live our best lives. 

Oh yeah and a test group tested a new Chuck Norris game for Xbox Kinect. No one survived. 


#RealDeal: What kind of Facebook friend are you? (18 different types from my newsfeed)

Every day ... the same people ... post the same thing ... in the same tone ... with the same overall attitude on Facebook (or in social media in general)

::raiseshand:: I'm right there with everyone else, as I too have my own patterns, but here were the 18 personality types identified in my newsfeed this afternoon ...

1) The friend that posts really really profound quotes by like totally famous people.


2) The friend who missed his/ her calling as a sports caster.

3) The friend that hates Mondays, and reminds you 52 times throughout the year.


<tangent> PS ... this is called a uni-pug and I think I want one. Carry on ... </tangent>

4) The friend that is so in love they have to tag themselves with their significant other in every status update & post couple selfies daily.

5) The friend that likes checking in a little too much

6) Not to be confused with the friend who checks in at mundane places ... 


Even your parents don't think you're cool. 

7) The friend that you don't remember friending but they like and comment on all your posts so you keep them.


<tangent> My brother and I rented this movie from the library every single summer when we were growing up, and I think her character was grossly misunderstood! She was just a quiet, passionate lady that just so happened to be totally bad ass with her sledgehammer skills. Could have happened to anyone ... riiigghhhtttt ...

 Eck, I go now ... </tangent>

8) The friend that posts naked/ nearly naked photos on a regular basis. 

I don't care if you're trying to show that guy/girl from 8th grade chemistry what "they're missing out on" - it's just not cool. Sure, if you're in a shot at the beach and you happen to be in a bathing suit ... rock on! But those that set it as their default or continuously post photo after photo of them flaunting their bods are just plain douches. Keep your clothes and respect on at all times while operating in social media. 

9) The friend that shamelessly self promotes their every project. 

Totally guilty of this one (big time), but it's crazy how much of Facebook in general has started to feel like a bunch of people just yelling at one another. Everyone just rambles on about themselves, but is anyone actually listening? 

Crap, I think she heard me. 

10) The friend that is very religious and likes to remind you of every thing you will be missing out on in the next lifetime.


Having a religious belief is a wonderful, wonderful thing ... even a lack of one, if it works for you, great! Reminding others over and over via posts and photos of how you're down with Adonai can be off putting. Much like in dating, the two things that should never be discussed in social media are religion and politics. 

11) The friend that posts spam saying "November is "insert whatever cause" awareness month. I bet 10 of my friends won't repost this for an hour as their status update."

I honestly never understood this one, but I can't begin to tell you how many times a day I see it in my newsfeed. It's like the entire internet is pulling your finger, and you're failing to smell the fart. 

Here, get a good whiff and please stop. 



12) The friend that goes to the gym every day, and you know this because they post it every day. 

I get it ... you work out. I'm right there with you that having people to share it with is a very motivating thing, however choose your outlet wisely. There are dozens of apps you can download where you can track your speed, weight loss, food intake, and some even have chats or a social aspect to them where you can "team up" and motivate your partner. Subjecting your Facebook friends to every detail of your perfect squat is annoying, and after a while, some might even call an exterminator on you being a gym rat. 

13) The friend that thinks Facebook is a diary and overshares problems (even the ones that require medication, and a sit down with your partner)


14) The friend that likes the photo you posted 6 months ago.

If you're going to creep, creep on the DL. You can "like" it quietly to yourself via a quick print out, but don't share it in social media; "creepy" is a label that is never in style. 

15) The friend that has photos of you from grade school and decides to tag you in all of them to show off to your current friends/sig-o how awkward you were.


You won't get another date after these incriminating photos surface. 

Might as well be proactive and invest in at least one cat now ... 

Click here for my second grade photo (courtesy of my dad)

16) The friend that gets hacked because they clicked the link we all know not to click.


17) The friend that humble brags.


False modesty is never appreciated. (This one I'm still working on.) It's one thing to be proud of yourself and another to believe you are better than others. You might not even realize you are doing it, but look critically at the next time you do something you view as "epic." How quickly are you going to post about it on Facebook? If it's under 5 minutes, Houston, you have a problem. 


18) The friend that reminds you it's 11:11.


Congratulations, you can tell what time it is ... so can a first grader. 


We've all been one or more of these types at some point in our lives, but please remember ... social media is like the Macarena ... 

... Just because we know it doesn't mean we want to be subjected to it. It's fine to break it out once in a while, but keep the overshares to yourself. Be courteous to one another; your Facebook friends will thank you. 




#NerdsUnite: Top reasons why you are not getting or keeping your dates

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Ajay Chauhan

Ever wondered why you are faring badly at the dating game. Are you finding it difficult to get a first date or never going beyond a first date to a second date?

Here are the top ten reasons, along with the dating tips, why you don’t fare well in the dating game. First five reasons are why you are not getting any dates at all and second five reasons are why you don’t get any second dates.

First dates:

• You do not recognize opportunities: Maybe you have a set idea where to get dates and as such pass up opportunities to find a date in your daily routine. You overlook the chance of meeting your Mr. or Ms Right in your daily grind like at the supermarket, walking down the street or waiting in a coffee shop.

• You project that you are unavailable: Your attitude and body language convey the message that you are unavailable. For instance, are you always frowning and looking angry? To get a date, you need to replace that look with a friendly, positive outlook.

• You wear a strong armor: Have you been hurt in love before, and now don’t want to get hurt again. Constantly reliving the past sabotages one’s chances of finding love again. Even if you get offers for a date, you turn it away. One should give up the protective barrier, and be open to connect with someone new.

• You dress down: If you want to attract dates, you should be well dressed at all occasions. Many singles dress inappropriately in ways that do not complement their figure. For instance, they might wear over sized clothing, dull colors like grey or are stuck to their high school fashion. Consult a friend to find out what sort of wardrobe is flattering to your personality.

• You are too busy for love: Are you so busy that you don’t have time for your social and particularly romantic life. Singles often complain that they are too busy to find time for love. But they must become open to the idea of dating if they are to connect to the right person who will make life worthwhile on this earth.

Second dates:

• You are a late-gate: Did you arrive at your first date, late, without any genuine explanation?-Chances are that you will not have a second date. Most people don’t like persons who don’t value their time, and let them wait at their dates.

• Bringing up ex: If you spend all your time on the first date discussing your ex- his or her defects and the problems they caused in your life, it may not go well for your current date. Most people don’t want to connect with you if you bring your emotional baggage to your first date. So avoid discussing your ex at your current date.

• Getting drunk: There is nothing more repulsive that getting drunk on your first date. Avoid having more than two cocktails, so you keep your head.

• Do not listen: Especially for women, they want their dates to listen to them and hold a balanced conversation during the first date.

• You are disrespectful and too independent: Do not come across as a rude and headstrong person.

These are the top ten reasons why you are unsuccessful at the dating game.


AUTHOR: The author Ajay Chauhan is an employee of Love Wale. He contributes blogs and articles to the website. Topics he covers include dating, marriage and relationships.