Top
Search TNTML

<editorsnote> Hi, I'm Jen Friel, and we here at TNTML examine the lives of nerds outside of the basements and into the social media, and dating world.  We have over 75 peeps that write about their life in real time. (Real nerds, real time, real deal.) Sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the stories!! </editorsnote>

 

 

 

 

Powered by Squarespace

Entries in online dating stories (53)

Wednesday
Jul022014

#OnlineDating: The 10 personality types of men found #Tinder

Tinder has been in the news a lot lately. From Sochi athlethes declaring their on and off court "game" using the social dating site, to less fortunate press surrounding a harassment lawsuit between two of the founders. 

For those who are unaware, Tinder is a dating app that allows you to "swipe" left or right indicating interest in someone. Remember the arduous days of OKC (OkCupid) and having to devote hours to setting up your profile? Well, Tinder is your cheat sheet. It populates your photos, mutual friends, and interests through Facebook connect. Another added bonus of the app is its GPS capabilities. Each profile is populated with the user's last login, and how many miles away they are from you. (Even being an avid Foursquare user for years, I'd be lying if I said that part didn't freak me out.) 

With great trepidation, I have been actively on Tinder for the last two months. My personal experiences exempt, I can say there are very clear patterns of the type of gentleman (I use that term loosely, but respectfully) that I have come across.

They are as follows: 

1) That one guy ... who still thinks its a 1998 yahoo chatroom: 

  

2) That one guy ... who is obsessed with 2 Live Crew and enjoys sharing their lyical wisdom: 

 

3) That one guy ... who is very eager to tell you his schedule. 

 

4) That one guy ... who takes what you say literally. 


5) That one guy ... who leads with his "humble" card. 


6) That one guy ... who you want to stay at least 300 yards away from. 


7) That one guy ... who keeps messaging and messaging and messaging. 

 

... there are a lot of those guys ... much like they warn you in the zoo, do not feed the animals. 

 

8) That one guy ... who is surprised he actually has a match. 


9) That one guy ... who doesn't share the same sense of humor that you do. 

Even weirder. 

10) That one guy ... who is genuinely nice, but you feel like you need a shower and a confession after spending so much time on Tinder. 


Tinder provides yet another outlet for singles to connect both online, and off. While I am a fan of "putting yourself out there" by whatever means necessary, why not start with aligning your recreational activities with the type of character you seek in a mate? If you're athletic, why not join a kick ball/ sports league? Religious? Why not start volunteering at a local church? While I can't discredit my own experience with online dating, I can say that it hurts my heart to feel the lack of actual interaction had between two people, vs the beauty of two people just sharing a common interest and bonding over it.

When I begrudgingly got on Tinder, I didn't even know if I could swipe "no" to someone. What if they were just a digital n00b, and didn't set up their profile properly? Would that be a deal breaker for me?

I currently view online dating like I do slot machines -for entertainment purposes only. There's lots of shiny things, loud noises, but you never know, one try could be the one that hits the jackpot. 

#kthxbye

 

Wednesday
Feb082012

#NerdsUnite: Online dating confessions w. your host @datestable

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Datestable. Thats obvi not his real name, but what he chooses to go by in the on that there thing called the "internet." He's super chill, super smart, and super freaking nerdy. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT DATESTABLE!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @Datestable

This is a banner week in the life of yours truly, with a trifecta of social networking achievements. First, I officially join the Yelp elite squad on Monday. Then, on Tuesday, I become Foursquare Mayor of my favorite lunchtime haunt, Soup Spot (only 27 check-ins later). And, on Wednesday, I get to inaugurate a column for venerable bloggeress Jen Friel on her awesome site just as my new blog, Da-Testable (title open to interpretation apparently), starts to take off. I feel like I rolled doubles three times in a row in Monopoly and should be carted off to the slammer. If there were any justice in the social media world, I probably would be.

Oh, how rude of me. Allow me to introduce myself: I’m a 31-year old Brooklyn dude, conceived and reared in the USSR. Once the Berlin Wall came down, shamefully exposing our peoples with our pants down, coffers empty, and spirits broken, my family decided to exercise the time-honored Jewish tradition of fleeing and migrate to NYC. Thus were my dreams of becoming a tiny-golden-giraffe-petting Oil-i-garch squashed. And I, in turn, squashed my parents’ fledgling dreams of immigrant success as I danced my way into a lower-tier Ivy League school and spent 4 years socializing with real Americans, majoring in hobbies, and drinking questionable brews. The perfect preparation for my then-to-be-future career as a moonlighting online dating blogger.

Luckily for you, I’m still single at 31, ready and willing to impart highlights, lowlights, and the occasional insight. What can you expect from me? Hijinks, bad puns, OkCupid anecdotes, flash stories, moments of shame, long sentences, awkward online silences, and total satisfaction. So stay tuned, and re-re-reFaceTweet!

#kthxbye

click here to follow datestable on twitter!

Wednesday
Oct122011

#FML: I just had a really awkward "get together" 

I ... don't know what that was. 

So, this duderino hit me up on OKC the other day, and was actually pretty rad. Very well spoken, very well put together (obvious from the wording and pictures on his profile) - and in his second email he asked to meet me. Not necessarily as a date, but he just said I intrigued him, and he would like to meet me. 

Alrite, I thought. A date to not have a date. I'm under a shit ton of deadlines right now, but I need to come up for air every once in a while - fine, I said ... let's do happy hour. 

I arranged to meet him at 6, and set an alarm on my phone for an hour and a half later to indicate that my time was up so I could get home and finish editing for VidBlogger Nation. (Six episodes for season 3 due tomorrow! arrghhh!! ANNNDDD I have to meet with VH1 in the morning. Fuckidy fuck fuck fuck fuck - hustle hard Friel)  

I get there on my new bike ... look at this bad boy ... HOTNESS RIGHT HERE!!! 

 

TNTML's first company ride ::tear tear::

Then I get to the bar and check OKC and see and email from him saying he's going to be late.

AHHH fuck I thought. Well, I have the alarm set for 7:30 - that's all he can have.

<tangent> It's also pretty genius too setting an alarm for dates and what not because there's no awkward moment of dudes thinking, oh she's just bailing. It removes the emotional component of the scenario and lays out very point blank that you have a schedule, you're not being rude, but it's time management. </tangent> 

I order an allagash, then realize ... hmmmmmm I rode my bike here, what are the California laws regarding drinking and bicycling? 

Like a good nerd, I turned to twitter ... 

 

But of course, because I was at Barneys, and they have SUUUCHHHHH spotty service - I was only able to send out the tweet, not receive an answer back. 

AHHH FML, one beer it is. 

Halfway through my beer, he arrives - meeting me at the bar. 

Hello! I say with a hug (always go in for the confident hug. It negates the awkward, so do we shake hands ... what's going on here ... dude, just hug. It works every time). 

I take a look at him, hmm cuter that his picture. Not necessarily my type, but definitely more attractive than I thought. 

I then close out my tab at the bar and offer to move to a table. 

We sit down, he orders a club soda and the conversation begins. 

The usual first, where did you grow up ... what do you do for a living. 

I felt bad, I genuinely remember this dude writing about growing up in a hippie commune, but that was about it. I very genuinely do try to do "research" of sorts and at least fully go through and read everything on a profile before a date, or in this case a "get together" - I just very honestly didn't have time. 

Jen fail on that part.  

I then start asking apparently stuff that was in his profile ... then it occurs to me when he said he was from Northern California that he was the hippie dude. 

AHHH!! That's right!! I remember!!! 

Yeah, we didn't exactly grow up with any technology. He continues ... I just don't understand why we all need to be so connected. I've never even been on twitter. I strive to turn my phone off for one hour a day just to disconnect. It was on NPR, that it actually alters our brain chemistry. I think people get too addicted to Facebook, even OKCupid - people need to know their limits. 

I then shoot him a look feeling very uncomfortable, and because I have no filter blurt out - 

Why did you ask me out? I actually make a living off of those platforms, and can genuinely be here with you, having this conversation sans the Jonesing - but really honestly dude, why? I'm LITERALLY one of the most connected people socially online - I'm not at all taking offense, but if you don't like social media, why ask me out? 

He then realizes his foot should go in his mouth and apologizes ... profusely. 

It's alrite, I say. I have my big girl pants on. I'm ALWAYS alrite with hearing about the other sides of things, but just genuinely curious. 

The entire "get together" at that point just got more awkward. 

I do online dating because the dudes on OKC are pretty fucking nerdy. They get the shit that I'm into, and I don't have to "dumb" myself down. I can talk about my passions in tech, the fusion of it with entertainment and Hollywood in general ... and just let my mouth FLLLLLLLLYYYYYY. 

Sitting across the way from this dude was like watching paint dry. 

And it's funny actually we both lived on 15th street in NYC at the same exact time. Albeit I was on the east side, he was on the west side - kinda funny though. 

He just didn't get anything I was SUPER passionate about, and everytime I asked him about stuff he was doing (writer/ actor/ creative type), I inquired about his online presence of said art, and he looked at me like I had six heads. 

I don't want to sit here and explain to you what you should do - be smart enough to fucking know!!!!!!!! 

Success doesn't just "happen" to people - you work hard, learn what works, what doesn't ... etc. You are here, in LA, the SOCIAL MEDIA CAPITAL OF EVVEERRRYYTHIINNNGGG and you are not utilizing some of these platforms to connect with people in the industry??

Dumbfounded. 

Unbelievably dumbfounded. 

I can understand not growing up with technology, but is 2011 - how are you not at least curious about it now? You can't AVOID IT!!! 

But again though I appreciate all sides of everything - and he was a GENUINELY nice guy ... but he also kept apologizing for offending me earlier. 

I felt like screaming DUDE!! DROP IT!! You're only making this worseeeeeeee!! 

Epic fail ... epic. epic. epic. fail. 

I hope Steve Ward host of VH1's Tough Love is going to be better next week!! I leave for Philly next Friday, and I am SO. FREAKING. EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He emailed me back on Monday, and I gave him my number and booked my flight. I am SO ready for a professional at this point. Or, maybe, just professional help. 

UUGGGHHHH!! SAVE ME!!!! 

#fail

Back to editing. Dudes!! VidBlogger Nation releases new episodes on Comcast On-Demand every Monday! Like every ... every ... Monday!! Click here to get instructions on how to watch! 

And thanks for the info everyone re: biking while intoxicated. The answer is yes and no. It's a misdemeanor and a $250 fine - but it's not the same as a vehicular DUI. Read more here.


Wednesday
Jul202011

#NerdsUnite: Minute Mingle with Meghan Brown

<editorsnote> Nerds, Meghan is going through some shizzy shiznat. She came on board to be our guru advice columnist, but life had other plans, and now she has had to endure a very unexpected break up. I asked her to write about it ... and this is her journey ... </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's Meghan Brown

OMG INTERNET I HAVE MY FIRST ONLINE DATE ON SATURDAY. 

I am the most terrified. I haven't gone on a first date in five years. Five years! Let's say it again, together: 

FIVE. YEARS. 

Ridicadonkulous. 

I've never EVER been on any kind of blind date before, much less one orchestrated by the powers that be at OKCupid. I've always shied away from Internet dating because it seemed like a really easy way to get kidnapped and murdered, but I am currently rethinking my attitude. I mean... I also used to meet guys at school. And those days are loooong over.

So. What do I wear? What should I do? How do I prepare? I have this sick sad suspicion that dating at 26 (adulthood, jobs, etc) is different then dating at 21 (college, parties, etc). I mean... most conversations I've had with potential boyfriends in the past involved discussions of mutual acquaintances, shared classes and experiences, etc. What do you talk about with someone who's a complete stranger? 

Yiiiikes. 

Despite being nervous... I'm really excited to get my feet wet with a nice, normal, no pressure date. I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I'm not looking for a fling, either. I'm honestly just looking to meet nice boys to go to dinner with while I try and figure out what exactly I'm doing with my life. 

OMG SATURDAY IS GOING TO COME REALLY FAST. 

 

#wishmeluck

 

Friday
Apr292011

#NerdsUnite: An Analysis of 103 #OkCupid Dates in 9 Months

AHHHHH ... where to begin with this post. I don't even know. It still blows my mind that I've been out on that many dates in less than a year, but whatevs, I'm going to own it.

So, last summer ... my buddy told me I was working too much and not socializing enough with duderinos. Fine. Fine. I get it ... I work a lot ... She suggested me getting on OKCupid as it is the nerdiest of nerdy dating sites and they use math to get you dates.

Rad ... you had me at algorithm.

ugh - I'm trying to be funny, and it's failing miserably. I am fucking pissed that I went out on ONE HUNDRED AND THREE DATES in NINE ... NINE MONTHS ... and I am still single.

Fuck me in the mother fucking goat ass.

K ... I feel better; the being honest part helps a lot. Here lemme get a song up to write this ...

Maneater? Mehhhhhh ... I'm not a maneater. Well, not intentionally. Hold on, changing.

WHOMP THERE IT IS!!

So, I created my profile in July of last year - and was IMMMEEDDIIAAAATEELLLYYY inundated with messages. Like straight up, apparently being a chick that runs a website is like uber hot to dudes because I very literally maxed my inbox out in just a couple days (that's over 500 messages, kiddies). Bat shit. I had no idea what I was looking for in dudes, so the filtering process proved to be a bit challenging. My record prior had been a bunch of GQ looking boys that were dumb as fucking rocks. The ONE thing I loved about dating the mentalist was that for the first time in my life I felt like I was dating someone as smart as me. (Well, technically speaking, I am actually smarter than him. No, like in a very literal sense - I have a guaranteed higher IQ based on the ability to execute alone. MWAHAHA!!! Suckkaaaa!)

I digress ... so now I had all of these messages sitting in my inbox, but I had no idea what I was really looking for. I've never, ever had a type. Even if you look at the boys I've dated in the past - they were all attractive in their own right, but not a ONE looked a like. Hey in math randomness is a pattern, I'm owning it.

OKC rates each users compatibility based on being a Match/ Friend/ and Enemy.

 

The problem with me is that I think way more like a dude than a chick. I was literally a 75% match or more with 90% of my inbox. Do the math, that's 450 messages - that is a LOT of dudes.

If 75% is my "norm" based on the boys that use this site - I guesstimated that "higher than average" would suffice and be at around 85%. I decided that to conduct this experiment I would only go out on a dates with guys that I ranked 85% with or higher in the match category. After all, I wasn't on this site to look for friends or enemies - clearly ... mama wants to get some, and get it in while she's young!!! RAWWRRRR!!

85% it was.

I started filtering through the messages, and replied back to all of the guys that were 85% and higher. Attraction to me is based on a sense of "owning it." If a dude is so comfortable in his own skin and owns every bit of everything he has, he becomes that much more attractive. No, like literally, a 5 can be a 10 if he can own it. It's about embracing what makes you unique which is unbelievably counter intuitive to the way we were raised ... in high school standing out meant people picked on you. As an adult however, and particularly in regards to dating - it's an aphrodisiac.

How can I filter through guys that "own it" on a dating website? It all starts with your pictures ...

We reveal a LOT about ourselves in social media. Like I've said in the past, even your default speaks VOLUMES about who you are as a person. Are you alone in your picture? With other people? Do you use photo filters? Are you wearing hats or glasses? How frequently do you change your default? All of these things come into play ... and I can read all of these things about people. Albeit, you have to take a lot of their profile into play as well - there is no real science to this, but it's proven more accurate than not that I can get a feel for someone and filter the messages down even more.

I was looking for pictures that told a story. TELL ME THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE IN YOUR PICTURES!!!! A series of webcam pics with various expressions totally blow. No, like straight up. Here, look at my pictures ...

My twitter avatar, but I also took this picture myself (literally, my left arm is extended and it's zoomed in) before a really great night out with my friends. I used this specifically as my default so people from twitter could identify me.

This one I just really liked. I had just started the site, and loved my old room.

This was purely for shameless self promotion. Like period. End of sentence.

Riding cross country with Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top. Hands down, top 5 favorite moment of my life.

Hands down top THREE favorite moment of my life. I was on The Price is Right in March of 2005.

The moment I got a response back from Foursquare saying they liked my site and they liked my idea that I had for them. Love me some Naveen, snapped this literally as I was reading his email (LG external monitor on top shelf).

Me facing my biggest fear. Clearly it was a scary moment ... hahaha!!!

Took this in when TNTML hit a record amount of uniques. Was so fucking rad!

So, yeah - that's my life. These are things that all mean something to me, and represent who I am at my core. You can tell a LOT about who I am based on these pictures alone. I looked for the same in guys. I don't care if you have a commercially attractive default, a guy that shows a sense of adventure and has a bit of a playful side will win HANDDDSSSS down every time!

Tangent: I personally tried to stay away from guys that had dogs (as I travel so much, and was looking for a partner in crime in that regard), but hey, I wasn't mad at dudes with 'em either. Love me some animals; I kept that limitation in mind without it being a disqualifier.

After I looked through the users pictures, I would move to the profile. Like your pictures (it's not how attractive you may appear to be in them, it's the pictures you choose to say yes, this is how I represent myself to the world), it's not necessarily what someone says in a profile, but how they say it.

I am a deeply deeply sarcastic human being, and I very rarely take myself seriously; that bleeds from my profile.

"I enjoy talking like Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire when he picks up the phone and does the horrible Indian-like voice of "I ... am ... job." If you ever call me and answer the phone like that, I might have to have your baby."

I don't say hey, I'm fun and I'm adventurous ... no, you can tell that I'm fun based on the weird shit that I write, and you can tell that I'm adventurous clearly because I went skydiving. Anyone that blatantly put, I'm fun immediately got the ax. If you're not witty or sharp enough to actually find something funny to put in your damn profile we are not at all going to get along. Like period. End of sentence.

That narrowed the results down even more.

I wasn't interested in having dinner with everyone (dinner takes too long. I'm very efficient and very ADD - if I'm not feeling it, I will leave.), so I agreed to grab a beer with willing participants. Again though, I put a disclaimer on my profile indicating that I was in fact conducting a social experiment, and if they had a problem with potentially being written about, I was not the person they wanted to date. Bottom line, the dudes knew what they were getting into, and were pretty cool about it.

All of the dates were a total blast. There were less than 5 that I can honestly say I didn't enjoy, and only 2 that I actually wanted to walk out from. The OKC algorithm is AMMAAZIINNNGGG at matching people, but chemistry is intangible. I was curious to find the organic root of attraction. What are the butterflies we say we feel when we meet that special someone? If I no longer believe in this notion of there being a "one" or a "soul mate," - what is the "it" then? And how can I solve for it?

It took me 96 dates to find out that the "it" was me. Life is reflective. What I was attracted to in dudes was something that resonated deeply in myself - I am emotionally unavailable.

Out of 96 dates, I had found that there were only 4 that I wanted to pursue something more with (there were 10 second dates ... but 6 of 'em got the ax). Of those 4, the only common denominator in each of them was that they were all emotionally unavailable. They had all recently come out of something with someone, were in a time of transition - just were not 100% able to give themselves to someone. (See this post for the breakdown)

FUUCCCKKK me in the goat ass, again.

Having that as my constant, and not fully aware of what my next doable action was - I decided to face said emotional unavailability within myself with the understanding of life's reflectiveness, that something would change. I then wrote the epic saga, This is a story about #love, but this is not a love story. It addressed how I had my heart broken, and how that was the catalyst for starting this site - etc. It's a really fucked up story to be honest, and definitely a lot to read ... but peeps dug it, and for that I am grateful. Felt great to release.

While I was writing those posts, I had a few more dates. 99, and 100 were weird. 99 was pretty rad. Really really really cool dude, but his timing was horrible. Also too, he's latin. Latin men are very protective, seductive, and like to be close to females. I do. not. like. to. be. touched. Don't touch me unless I touch you. Period end of sentence. So, his timing was horrible for taking me out on a date during that series of posts, and the fact that he can't help but organically be a very expressive lover meant we totally weren't a match. Anyway ... it wasn't until I hit 101 that I truly had an amazing date. Really really really nice boy. Is into psychology, reading body language - kinda freaked me out actually. I wondered how much he had read up about me, but then I very genuinely read on his face that he didn't know much.

Oh yeah, I have tests I give dudes throughout the night to spot the fame seekers. I can tell if a dude knows a lot about me and what I do based on a series of questions I would ask them throughout the night. It was dependent upon whatever was posted on the site at that time, but I would repeat myself often and wait for them to cut me off saying they had read it. If they didn't and pretended like it was the first time they heard it, I would be able to tell they were lying based on certain facial reactions they had. That part I got - I am DAMMNN good at spotting that shit.

Had 3 amazing nights with 101 (one night he just stopped by to say hi and dropped me off at a coffee shop), but alas after our second date - dinner, he got weird and sent me a text saying that he couldn't believe he just boned an internet celebrity. Yep, we totally got it on after dinner in an alley in Venice (dude, I'm such a classy broad) - and when he got home he texted that to me. I was like NOOOOOOOO!!!! Way to ruin it. That's a total dealbreaker for me.

I'm a lifecaster. My job is to live life and report back what I am experiencing in the form of stories told as close to being in real time as possible. If some guy is going to be a part of my equation and be conscious of me writing about it, etc - it's not honest or organic; I very genuinely want someone who isn't phased by it. I even tell dudes, don't read the site while we are going out on dates because I'm going to be able to read on your face that you are reading it, and when I say something to you and you've already read it - I'm going to know that you've read it based on your reaction and then I'm going to have to pretend that I don't know that I know that you know, and it's going to get weird. (HAHA did any of that make sense? OMG my head hurts - but I hope you catch my drift)

He hasn't stopped emailing me. Bless the dudes heart, but not gonna happen. Whether it's a joke or not, I don't care. Disqualifier. NEXT!

I can honestly say there were less than 10 that I knew of that were fame seekers. I filtered them out pretty quickly. There were only a handful that straight up petitioned to go out on a date with me, and one of them I wound up living with for 2 months in a completely platonic way. He's literally family to me now, and we were off the charts on Match and Friend. OKC really really really knows their shit.

I was a bit taken a back by how many people were genuinely intrigued by what I was doing. No, like literally - it was not my intention to get buzz from this thing, just post honest reactions - and occasionally have a post or two chiming in from our dating coach, The Art of Charm's Jordan Harbinger, on what guys can do about these problems that I am addressing.

Like for example, one dude I dated totally friended one of my best friends on Facebook without ever meeting him. COMPLETELY creeped me out ... and is a HUGE faux pas. Here's what Jordan had to say about it:

It was my intention to date, be brutally honest, but at least not leave guys hating me - but having next doable actions on what they can do in the future to not be labeled a "creeper" or be put in the "friend zone."

Here are some frequently asked questions:

 

Answer: None were completely different than their profile. You can't lie in social media. Even if you think that you are, I guarantee you, you are not. I scoped out Facebook profiles, twitter feeds (when applicable). I knew all of the guys I went out on a date with before I even met them. Gone are the days of anonymity online and being able to put up a "front." I knew what I was getting into with each one.

Answer: Guys that owned it. Period end of sentence ... but see above for more of the breakdown.

 

Answer: OMG almost all of them!!! I very literally found some amazing friends through OKC, and a LOOOTTTT of business peeps. Literally, so many dudes just wanted to pick my brain and still call me for various things. Absolutely incredible. I don't regret a minute of it, and I never got sick of it.

 

Answer: First nighter? I think you mean people that I slept with on the first night? Only one! That was the dude I went out on a date with in Culver City and woke up in Santa Barbara. I didn't sleep with that many guys to be honest. Out of the 11 second dates, I'd say I slept with less than 6 for sure. I know I slept with all 4 of the ones I wanted the relationship with, hence why I wanted the relationship ... the sex was good. I'm sure I just threw a few a bone because I was horny.

 

Answer: Almost immediately, but I would for scientific purposes definitely measure it within the first hour. I'm also a very cut and dry kinda person - I have no problem making up my mind, and my gut has never proven me wrong (although I look forward to the day).

 

Answer: UMMM tough one! My favorite date was one at Griffith Park Observatory. I had never been, and that place was SOOOOO coooolllll!!!! Jones on Santa Monica is also awesome. I took most of my dates to Dillons in Hollywood, because they have shock top on tap haha. I'm a dive bar kinda chick - I don't dig the loud music, just give me good beer and a quiet nook and I'm a happy camper.

 

Answer: That I have a lot of healing to do from my broken heart, but I am super super super proud of myself for at least trying. You can't fail if you just try, at least you'll get experience. I can now say, I am a VERY experienced dater. HA!

Another question I get asked all the time is how I could sit through all of those questions of ... "so, tell me about yourself ..."

That's the thing about OKC though, you can find all of that out already. I also just adore people and hearing their stories - so I was absolutely never ever bored on a date, and was only asked a handful of times for me to tell them about myself ... these guys knew what they were getting themselves into, and were intrigued.

So, bottom line - out of all of these dates, I learned the truth of life's reflective nature; people just are and we are all just being. It is how you interpret those experiences and tell the story to yourself that dictates your state of consciousness and your state of being.

I assure you, I am not taking any pride in this, but this is just part of my story. Of course I am angry that the 4 dudes that I liked didn't feel it back - but again I am taking responsibility and ownership of that in saying what in me was attracted to them?

I have recently addressed that I do not like to be touched, and clearly online dating is not going to get me over that - so for my next leg of the experiment I will be going offline (albeit documenting online), and putting myself in situations at bars where I can be touched in the hopes of conducting aversion therapy to get through my issues.

I'm stoked man! The next social experiment is sponsored by Effing Gear - and at least by wearing their shirts out at bars, I KNOOOOOWWWW guys are going to talk to me. They're super soft!! BAH! Can't stand it - love 'em! Tune in next week for more of my findings. Really really really curious what is going to attract me to random dudes at a bar - I've never. ever. been a bar chick, but hey, it's something new to try, and will hopefully help me get over my aversion to being touched!!! Maybe all my experiment proved is that the "it" I was trying to solve for really is a mystery, and cannot be solved. You can have all the compatibility and all the matches in the world - but what makes you have chemistry with someone?? At least by isolating as many of the variables as possible I can say with more of a definitive answer ... BAHH!!! So exciting!!!

I'm just going to stop focusing on looking for a relationship in one capacity or another and just enjoy every night of the experiment. Just let it be, and let it organically unfold.

I'm not going to post in Hollywood what bars I will be hitting up and when, but feel free to follow me on FourSquare, and you can at least stop by one of my checkins.

Thanks for the interest, and thanks for reading!

#nerdsunite

Did I mention that one of my 103 dates was female??