#Fact: You think a first date is weird? Try first fetish meeting!

Oh lordy schmick mordy ... I am literally blushing at writing out this post. I will tell you all right now that I THOROUGHLY enjoyed myself, but I just didn't expect this part of my personality to come out. I knew I was dominant in business but never ever ever in my personal life ... I wanted to pwn that motherfucker like it was my job.

Alrite, so a week ago, I tweeted out that I was seriously considering dating a guy with a foot fetish just so I could have my feet rubbed. I started running in the morning to give my life more of a "routine" but as a side effect it's caused my feet to throb like no other.

I was kind of kidding, but what I didn't expect was the OVERWHELMING response from guys who were totally into it.

Now, I know from my buddy @meowmistidawn that foot fetish is in the top three fetish turn ons (just behind butt and boobs - pun intended), but I've genuinely never dated a guy who has articulated that he had a foot fetish - so my experience is extremely limited in the subject and honestly, I thought it was all pretty "creepy."

The second that C word hit my noggin though I realized I was actually just being judgmental and maybe if I walked towards that place of uncomfort I could learn something from a first hand experience and not a preconceived notion.

Bottom line: I actually emailed one of the foot fetish duderinos back.

His email was so sweet ... and so endearing. He said plain as day that he is married and with kids, but that this is a part of his personality that he can't deny and he's been a foot slave to doms before but was seeking one in LA. (His wife totally approves of this, and he even came with phone number references for his other doms.)

We then started an email exchange and after approximately 40 emails outlining LITERALLY everything, we arranged to meet up Friday at a semi public location.

I was coming from a meeting in the valley so I was kinda dressed up, but at about 4:00 on Friday we met at a park not too far from my house.

It's super quiet since not a lot of people know about it, but I knew I could EASILY beat feet if this guy was a legit Buffalo Bill.

Minutes after my arrival I see a built guy approach me wearing glasses and a hat.

He asks if he can put his hood on.

Sure, I say, noticing that no one was around and very honestly even if they were - I didn't really care.

We barely spoke, he brought me some wine as a gift (he likes being humiliated and objectified).

I placed the wine in my bag and he immediately went to town.

I asked prior if wearing my normal knee high socks were an added turn on similar to lingerie - but he said no, he was into just the feet.

He then removed my knee highs and I placed a hoodie in between my legs to not give him too much of a room with a view. (I'm always in a skirt or dress.)

He then started massaging my feet as I started live tweeting what was happening.

He didn't want me to speak to him or address him at all - I was instructed to ignore him and be mean to him as much as possible.

The thing about me though is that I am an introvert; writing is my emotional default. When it comes to business, yes, I am a hustler and literally live on getting shit done - but in my personal life ... I'm EXTREMELY shy. It surprises guys that I like because I turn into a deer in headlights not knowing what to say, and people expect when they meet me this larger than life personality ... it's hilarious. I'm a LOT quieter in person, particularly when I'm crushing on a dude. 

This, however, was not a time to be quiet. I had to be a nasty naughty bitch and I literally could not say a single word.

<tangent> Dudes, I can't even talk dirty in bed!! I am SO FREAKING BASHFUL!! Even a few weeks ago after this super awesome date the dude walked me to my door and my roomie and her boyfriend were coming back from their date and caught us making out in the stairwell ... I turned SOOO RED!!! And it's just a PDA!!!! But I ... can't .... do ... it ... it's horrible, and clearly something I need to work on.

And FTR, it's not the traditional PDA that I have a problem with, I'll make out anywhere ... but when it's someone that I know ... I get WEIRD. I'm EXTREMELY particular with guys that I bring into my social circle. It's one thing to date a person, another to introduce them to your friends. </tangent>

He continued to rub my feet in hands down one of the BEST foot massages I have ever had, as I ignored him while I answered emails and live tweeted the entire situation.

The massage lasted for about a half an hour. He rubbed in between all my toes, and all over my feet, even going as far up as my calves.

I hate that we have to cut this short, he says as he stops, but I have to go now.

It's okay, I said. I really really really enjoyed this.

Really? he asked surprised and still wearing his hood.

ABSOLUTELY!!! I replied back enthusiastically. I really want to get into this.

He then kneeled and took a deep breath - you have no idea what a relief that is to me.

It then struck me how closeted this man is with his fetish. He is SO afraid people are going to find it weird that he has to suppress it so deeply.

My heart broke in that moment.

Yes, I'm into this! How could I not be!! It's amazing and feels really good.

He took another deep sigh.

If I'm going to do this though, I really want to get into it, I instructed. I want to get shoes and a riding crop - I have to psychologically compartmentalize it within myself that when I am in this moment with you, I am a dom and not the sub that I normally am in my personal life. Can we talk via email and outline exactly what each of us wants from this dynamic in the future? I want everything outlined so no matter what we are both clear.

Yes, that would be great.

He then took yet another deep breath. You have no idea what this means to me. I can't believe you enjoyed this.

Of COURSE I did, I say (what chick wouldn't dig an AMAZING foot massage), but I want to really get into this and vocalize my own personal truth by expressing myself more as a dom. Email me?

Yes, he said as he took off the hood (I turned around to not see his face), placing the glasses and hat back on.

Bye bye, I say not turning around.

ANNNDDD there you have it ladies and germie men. It wasn't "weird" or "creepy" at all - it was EXTREMELY enjoyable and while sexually it may not do anything for me, it is CERTAINLY going to help me break free of the shyness that I feel in my personal life and help me articulate more of my personal truth (which AGAIN is my lesson with the modern day shaman. W2g universe!!!)

He has since emailed me, and we are now going to outline our boundaries - this is by no means done. I can't WAAAIIIITTTTTT to get a riding crop and literally beat the bejesus out of the duderino for being a bad bad boy. =)

"Express yourself don't repress yourself"

#tobecontinued

#NerdsUnite: The secret life of a veterinary technician

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Lindsay. She and I met ... well, somewhere in the social space. I think we might have started talking through this site directly, then through facebook - maybe ... I'm not sure. But she's awesome. I talk to her on twitter almost every day, and she's really rad and TOTALLY a big huge animal lover. Like crazy huge!! In these series of posts she will be talking about her life and random adventures with sometimes more than two legged creatures. I guess there's only one more thing left to say ... HIT IT LINDSAY!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @TheCraftafarian

Lately we have had an overwhelming number of kittens abandoned at my clinic. I'm not referring to the two recent kittens my clinic has taken in as fosters. I mean like I get to work and there are boxes taped closed with holes cut for air waiting. Or in this recent case they broke out of whatever duffle bag thing that was made into a cage--and were sitting on top of it! See!! I had to whip out a can of food I had for a foster to convince them not to run away--you can see the can in the photo as well as the mother cat tied to the pole. 

There was a note taped to it. It said that her mom was making her get rid of the cats and to please take care of her babies. It said the other mother cat was sick and she was the mom of the smaller babies. Unfortunately there was only one mother cat when I got there. She however took over nursing all nine kittens!

The extremely sad part of this is that if people just educated themselves sometimes they wouldn't be in this mess. First off--spay and neuter your pets. Not just for reproductive reasons, or behavioral reasons, but also it vastly reduces the likelihood of developing reproductive organ cancers (mammary, ovarian, testicular, prostatic---yeah animals get all those cancers too). Secondly we actually have a sign that asks people to not leave their pets here AND also lists phone numbers/address where you can safely surrender your pet to SPCA which is a no kill shelter. It also lists the County Shelter for strays. It's not that we don't want to help stray animals, it's that we aren't able to help strays or our clients in need if we continue to have multiple animals abandoned on us. Thankfully with the help of my friend Kari I was able to find a rescue volunteer who will foster them until she can get them into her rescue group. FANTASTIC!

6 months ago we had a litter of 5 kittens dumped. We were able to place them into a rescue (who the entire time made snarky comments about the fact they were all black--apparently they don't get adopted as well). By christmas all those kittens found homes. 3 months ago a litter of 7 kittens were dumped, same style, same little faces (I think they were related). We have been unable to place them into a rescue (again all black) but we have found 4 of them homes. Then we took in two stray kittens. THEN wednesday I pull up the driveway to the clinic and I see the scene above. It's been really overwhelming. After tonight we will be back to 5 fosters. Which was already a lot. Of course my veterinarian has tested them for felv/fiv, dewormed, tested for parasites, and vaccinated--so that's another reason its overwhelming. The cost. 

Whew, so this all got resolved today. I have a long 4 hours ahead of me but I have a lot to do all in the name of kitten rescue! Geez, I hope you guys aren't totally tired of my animal posts :)

#nerdsunite

<3 Lindsay
twitter: @thecraftafarian
blog: craftafarian.blogspot.com
email: craftafarian at gmail d c

#NerdsUnite: Ask That Nerdy Chick (breaking sexual freedom down into doable actions - follow up)

It is my goal for 2012 to take a lot of my weird and wonky experiences as a lifecaster and help nerdy peeps out by providing a frank (not shirley) and honest answer to some weird and potentially random questions you may have about life.

Here is a follow up email to a question from earlier this week ...

Wow, first off, I am so impressed you sent all of that from an iPad. Well done!

Secondly, thank you re: Romeo, but I LITERALLY cannot stress this enough ... that for the first time in YEARS, I feel amazing. It was a tough conversation to have, but our relationship was parasitic. I should have cut things off a while ago, but we were so connected energetically that the universe would NOT stop throwing us in each other's face. I am elated that I also got to cross off my only regret in life (which was coming back to LA for someone other than him 3 years ago). Had I not dated the mentalist, I wouldn't have this brand ... and who knows if I would have been able to tolerate Romeo and his douchieness. Score one for me!!

I'm genuinely SUPER FREAKING EXCITED because I knowwwwwwwwwwww goodness is around the corner - I can literally feel it, and now I finally get that I am worthy of it. WHOOP WHOOP!!

Your friend said it is trashy? What having threesomes and exploring your sexuality?? WHHAAATT?? Lame pants. Find new friends. Sexual exploration is liberating and another expression of your true self. How could that ever be wrong or "trashy?" Remove the shaming. Women have the right to own their sexuality just as much as men can. Period end of sentence.

I am saying that in my personal experience the sexuality came second. I first did a complete life overhaul, but you're right - maybe this will be easier for you to break down into doable actions for those less willing to just give up everything they own and see where the wind takes them. Maybe others will find it easier to first start exploring things through their sexuality and work their way out. Thank you for that realization.

You're entering into this scenario with a seriously sensitive heart having been cheated on. I have found that in threesomes being the "guest star" that there really isn't chemistry as much with the guy as there is with the female. Threesomes are about the chicks wanting each other more than anything, and in all of the cases I've been in it is the female that mostly takes the lead.

So, in that regard, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing - but the fact that these thoughts are entering into your head in the first place though is a MAJOR red flag. Have you been to a therapist or worked with a shaman at all to get through some of the issues from the divorce? Being cheated on is so heartbreaking as a female. I remember with the mentalist (who in all fairness didn't even technically cheat but in my mind we were in a relationship) it literally took me months before I could even masturbate again.

MONTHS!!

I have a really high sex drive so for me to go even a few days is extremely uncommon. There are a lot of different layers regarding being able to move on from something like that. I just want to make sure you're at a good enough place to even explore, ya know?

I would suggest just going to check out some sex clubs in your area. You can pop on FetLife.com to check out some meetups, or even just google it. I've been to a bunch all around the country and while I've never participated it definitely made me more comfortable seeing what people were doing and sort of exploring from the voyeuristic approach to see if it was something I was interested in.

As far as your personal truth and voice are concerned, babe, you can't be so hard on yourself. I've been doing this morning. noon. and night. for 2.5 years and I still feel as confused as ever. Try keeping a journal or even starting an anonymous tumblr for yourself so you can track the growth. Obviously reading my old posts made a HUGGEEE difference in me being able to see how I am expressing myself - but this is life, it's a journey not a destination. Start doing things that FEEL GOOD strictly because it FEELS GOOD and watch your vibration and people around you change. You can't be hard on yourself though in the process, you need to practice EXTREME self love and positive affirmations. Print out a few and even tape them to a mirror and say them over and over and over in the morning until you GENUINELY start to believe it.

I have above my desk "work what you got," since I understand at any given moment my only job in life is to play the BEST hand that I have. Whatever life has dealt me my only job is to know when to swap cards around and never ever fold.

So, let's recap since this is a lot ...

1) For sexual purposes start exploring sex clubs to check out the scene and see what makes you comfortable. I've seen some really really really gnarly things at these clubs, and while I've never participated it definitely opened my eyes.

2) Before anything else consider working with a shaman (or an energy healer) and seeing a therapist to process out any lingering issues from the ex. This will help alleviate any of the potential jealousy or insecurity that may arise in group sex.

3) Post positive affirmations on a mirror and say them every morning until you actually start to believe them. This will help boost your self confidence WHICH will make you feel sexier WHICH is your ultimate end goal anyway, right??

Rock on chickadee! And thank you so so so much for the honesty.

Got a question? Drop me an email! JenFriel at TalkNerdyToMeLover dot com

ORRRRR you can message me on Facebook and if it's within 140 characters on the twitter!

Best of luck out there nerds!!

xoxo <3 @JenFriel

PS. If you're ever in LA can we make out? Your google plus pic is friggen adorable. K bye ...

#NerdsUnite: Diablo 3 (Playing Off Nostalgia)

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Sean. He has a really rad site called Violent Gamer, and he's here today to talk about some of the latest and greatest in the gaming industry. I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT SEAN !!</editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @violent_gamer

After clocking in many hours and slaying half of hell, I feel like sharing some of my impressions and opinions on one of the most anticipated games of the last decade.  It's been 12 years since the release of Diablo 2 and ever since the first announcement, and all the teasers released each year at Blizzcon, fans have put Diablo 3 on a pedestal.  After having hour long discussions with friends and reading raving reviews online, everyone seems to enjoy the game, but why do I feel let down?

Blizzard has always been one of those companies that gamers look up to.  They have built their business around successful franchises and have published many of the best selling PC games ever. Diablo 3 is no different, selling 3.5 million copies in the first 24 hours and over 6 million in the first week. Diablo 3 continues the story with a world being invaded by the forces of  hell, and players choosing their heroes to defeat Diablo himself. With stunning cinematic cut scenes and hand painted environments it's obvious Blizzard put a lot of time and money into the game.

With that said, why did the game have a less than stellar release?  With the now infamous Error 37, players were not able to log in during the official launch, even during the first day there were hours of down time for server maintenance. That does not bother me as much compared to the lack of detail with character models, the short 10-15 hour campaign, no player vs player available at launch and the incomplete auction house with their revolutionary use of real currency.

Something I noticed right away after logging into Diablo 3 for the first time was the lack of customization and depth in the characters you choose from.  In most modern games today, customizing your character is a big part of the gaming experience.  Being able to customize your characters looks gives you a sense of identity.  Not only are you not able to customize your character, but the models themselves are unimpressive.  Sure you are looking at your character from overhead, but who doesn't want to zoom in every so often and check out how awesome your character looks after hours of slaying demons?

In Diablo 2, PvP was a big part of available content.  Being able to invade another players game and challenging them to a dual, compare stats on the leaderboards was partly why you kept coming back. I remember being at Blizzcon and hearing about the new arena battles that Diablo 3 will have at launch. Then, a couple months from the release day, we hear that no form of PvP will be available at launch.

Why does this all matter? As a consumer and a fan, I feel cheated.  I feel like I got a game that was 90% complete and was told "Enjoy what we give you and you'll get the rest when we are ready."  This has become a problem in the gaming industry.  I would much rather have a completed game with all the features and content available on release than wait weeks or months for the rest of the content.  I also find it hard to digest that other gaming websites have given this game such good reviews even with its flaws.  With games like Diablo, we can't let our 12 year old fanboy come out and cloud our judgment just because of the title on the box. Want to check out any of other posts? Come on over to Violent Gamer.

-Written by Adam Borchert

#nerdsunite

click here to follow Sean on the twittah!

#NerdsUnite: The journey is the destination

<editorsnote> Nerds, meet my buddy Ali. She and I bonded on Facebook a few years back over our love of everything Pete Cashmore. ::SIGH:: so dreamy. She is here today to talk to you all about her new adventure which included quitting her job and hitting the road. Pretty rad right?  I only have one more thing left to say ... HIT IT ALI!!! </editorsnote>

#TalkNerdyToMeLover's @lifeon4wheelsUK

Well thankfully for us this last week has been much less eventful than the previous couple.  We found some breath-takingly beautiful spots to chill out by the sea and recharge our batteries.  We’ve driven some amazing routes, including up a mountain so high we drove through a cloud!  You can read all about our adventures over at the blog www.lifeon4wheels.co.uk   

This week also saw the anniversary of our first month on the road and <insert Carrie moment> it got me thinking about how things are going so far and how it all measures up to our expectations.  My first thought is that this whole thing has been tougher than I’d expected.  To be fair I didn’t really know what to expect, hey I hadn’t even spent 24 hours inside a campervan when we got on the road!  Driving is the biggie really and I’ve gotta say I still haven’t had the balls!  The van is massive, heavy and sluggish.  We don’t have power steering and it exhausts my weedy arms to turn the damn thing.  Plus people here drive like lunatics!  Almost all the cars you see have dents and scrapes like battle scars, hell I even saw one HELD TOGETHER WITH TAPE (I shit you not)!  The boyfriend is doing an amazing job of holding his nerve and to be honest I think he’s more frightened of me driving than I am!  I guess I sort of had this idea in my mind of us blasting out tunes and burning up the miles in the sunshine.  Whilst that is sometimes the case it’s more likely I’ll be yelling at the Sat Nav and he’s yelling at the other drivers whilst we both worry if the van is up to the job!

Finding places to stop off has gotten easier and I’m managing better than I expected with the lack of home comforts (although the things I’d do for a decent pizza don’t bear mentioning!)  It’s really odd sometimes to go about our day using public toilets and showers on the beach and sort of feeling like a homeless person and then we come back to the van, cuddle up under the duvet, crack open a beer and watch Star Wars just like we would at home!  It’s a bit surreal.

The solar panel is doing a great job of keeping us powered up but I do miss having the internet at my fingers 24/7!  Most cities we’ve come across have their own free wifi and I spend a lot of time hanging around beside McDonald’s branches using their internet.  It’s only a matter of time before the restraining order comes through! 

Most of all I miss these wonderful people, my awesome friends.  This picture was taken just before I left Nottingham at an event I labeled on Facebook as the Last Supper, so restaging the famous painting seemed a must - that’s me as Jeebus (obvs!)  I’d love to be able to pop home and go out for a pint with them all. 

All in all, it’s not exactly a walk in the park but I certainly wouldn’t change it and it *IS* getting easier.  I haven’t woken up to an alarm in over a month which is utterly blissful.  I spend my days exploring cities and or hanging out by the beach. 

There are so many annoyances, it’s easy to get frustrated sometimes.  I’d kill for a washing machine, a long hot shower and a meat feast pizza!  Whenever I get annoyed though I can just put into context what I’m doing in the simplest possible way – I’m travelling the world with the man I love – and I doubt it gets better than that.

#thatisall

click here to follow Ali on twitter!